


two souls under the same snow

by tsuuki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Christmas Special, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Unrequited Love, but it's still important for the story, it looks like everybody is cheating on everybody but I swear it's not that bad, soulmate au where no one end up with their soulmate, the IwaOi is kinda minor too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27742993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuuki/pseuds/tsuuki
Summary: Two years ago, under the first snowflakes, Tobio Kageyama has lost his reason to smile. Ever since, he lives a dull life, avoiding as much as he can everything that reminds him of the past.Until he meet Hinata.Hinata, and his orange hair who makes him looks like a human-tangerine.Hinata, and his energy who outshines even the sun.Hinata, and his bright smile who gives back to his world all his colours.Hinata, who suffered the same grief as him, and hides the same secrets deep in his heart.( a.k.a. a soulmates au where no one end up with their soulmate. )
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 187
Kudos: 129





	1. and the sky was crying

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!! Please take in consideration these few notes before reading:  
> \- first of all, English is not my native language. I've learnt it mostly by myself, so I sincerely apologize if I burn your eyes with my awful writing. Please tell me if you see mistakes, even small, I really wish to improve! (but plz be kind my heart is fragile)  
> \- this story is an UA, you've probably seen it already. All the characters are in college, and some relationship are not exactly the same than in the original work: Hinata didn't go to Karasuno, so he never met Kageyama until the beginning of this story (or so he says...), and Kenma left Tokyo to go study in the same college as Hinata (and as a lot of other characters as you'll see).  
> \- this story is a rewriting and a translation! it was originally posted on my wattpad account, under the name 'La mélodie des âmes seules', two years ago. It's a new version, with different events and characters (kinda), so if you read french, you can go check to compare (but honestly, the previous version was pretty bad so don't feel obligated).
> 
> I'll post a new chapter everyday at 1PM CET (or GMT+1 idk which one is the most understandable) until December, 25th! Their length is a bit irregular, but in general, it doesn't exceed 1k words.
> 
> Thanks if you've read all of this, and I hope you'll enjoy this first chapter :)

The sky was as dark as his mind, and the rain that was slowly falling on the ground looked like tears. A part of Tobio was thinking that, maybe, the sky was also crying for the one they were burying today. 

He was standing far away from the grave – which was just a big hole at the moment –, and he wasn’t moving a single inch. If his chest wasn’t moving either in sign of breathing, it would have looked like it was him, the corpse buried. 

His eyes were on the others, his friends ― their friends ― and his family. He was looking at them, quietly listening to their kind words, full of empathy, while the only thing in his mind was anger and sadness. Were they really thinking that it would change something? Their words weren’t what he needed right now. 

All of this were making Tobio feel really, really terrible. Anger, sadness, regrets, everything he was feeling in his heart was mixed in his mind, and he just wanted that moment to end. He just wanted them to stop, he just wanted to leave, he just wanted to get back to the good old days, the one where he was still here to smile to him. 

He wished to forget, to not think any more to the person in the coffin they were slowly putting into the ground. 

His nausea got worse. He tried not to think to it, really, but it didn't work. The picture, no, his picture, usually so bright, but motionless from now on, was a terrible picture he couldn’t bear. He just wanted to pinch himself to wake up, because he needed to believe it was a nightmare. 

However, he already had done it. He had slowly pinched himself again and again, with the hope to finally wake up from this awful dream. However, it wasn't a product of his imagination, nor a horrific story told by one of his friends. It was the reality. 

He looked at the others to see how they were dealing with the situation. Most of them were stooped, with their back crossed by shivers. They were probably crying. He had not shed a single tear. Maybe he was heartless. 

However, if he really was, he wouldn't have suffered that much, right? If he really had no heart, he wouldn't be there, with the awful feeling that his heart was broken forever and unable to love for now on. 

His whole world had collapsed, and everything that mattered to him was gone. What would he do now, without his warm embrace? Without his smile that always made him smile back too? Was it why he had lost him? Because they were too happy and someone had to fix it, no matter how? 

“Tobio.” 

A voice. A male voice that sounded familiar. He knew who it was. He tried to ignore the owner of this voice, but Tooru Oikawa called him again. Unable to continue to act like he hadn't remarked him, Tobio turned himself in the direction of the boy, who was standing right behind him. 

His senior's hair was flattened on his front by the rain, and his eyes were all red and swollen, with dark circles upon them. Aoba Johsai's captain didn't look as good as usual for sure. 

“Tobio...” His voice was not as harsh as it used to be, as he spoke to his junior for the first time in months. “I know it's very hard for you too. Still, I'm grateful you've come.” 

It was so unusual, hearing his senior saying this kind of thing to him, without any bad insinuation. A few months ago, he would have been delighted to hear that. Now, he didn't care. He only came by obligation. To say goodbye. 

But was he able to? Could he pronounce these words? 

Probably not in fact, despite everything he could say. His heart was way too heavy and painful. Being heartless seemed suddenly like a perfect way to live. 

At least, the pain would have been less terrible. 

A thunderbolt pierced the sky. A storm was coming. The ceremony would have to be shortened. That was what he was thinking, when he heard his name, said by the priest. 

“Mister Kageyama, would you like to say something?” 

All the eyes were on him in less than a second. He wanted to refuse, really, but he couldn't do that to him. Tobio started to walk slowly, like a condemned prisoner. He stooped aside of the priest, aside of the big hole in the ground where was the coffin, no, not the coffin but his dead body. 

Then, a tear tickled on his cheek, then another. 

And so, Tobio Kageyama started crying, while the shatters of his heart were falling on the ground too.


	2. the human-tangerine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a three-years ellipsis between the previous chapter and all the following. In the first, Kageyama was in his first year of high school at Karasuno, now he's in his first year at college :)  
> hope you'll enjoy this first meeting, and thanks a lot to the kind readers who gave me kudos <3

When the first snowflakes started to fall, Tobio was in the square next to his college, watching the water freezing slowly, lost in his mind. When he noticed that the ground was getting covered with snow, he took his bag with a sigh, and raised up from the bench he was sitting on to get back inside. 

His next class only started in forty minutes, so he decided to go study in the library ― at least, to pretend to ― hoping there would not be too many people in it. It was a very small place, at the fifth floor of the main building, and a lot of students loved to go study there because the atmosphere was relaxing and the number of books satisfied everyone. Luckily, there were only three other people when he arrived. 

He chose an empty table, put his stuff on it, and took his phone out of his pocket to check his messages. Realizing he had none, he started to look at the other students, a little curious of who they were ― and, let's be honest, he wanted another excuse to not start studying. 

On a large table at his right, a young man with bleached hair was playing on a console. He seemed concentrated, and Tobio thought that anyone who would bother him was probably going to get an insult. Aside to him, another young boy with orange hair was looking at his computer with big concentration. Tobio noticed from where he sat that he seemed to really work. 

The third person was sitting at another table, far from them. It was a woman with blond hair, who was reading a book named _The Tale of the Blue Castel's King_ if he was seeing correctly. She raised her head up at the exact moment he was looking at her, and their eyes met. She smiled gently to him, and that reminded him that they had class together. General mathematics, to be exact. Her name was Yachi, or something similar. 

The orange-haired boy sighed suddenly, and all the eyes of the students were on him in a second. He noticed it and smiled in apology. Tobio looked back to his screen, at least what he could see from where he was, and saw mathematics equations. 

They were pretty simple compared to the ones he was currently studying in his own degree. He resolved them only in a few minutes, in his mind. 

Nevertheless, he was probably staring too much at the screen because the other noticed him and turned his head in his direction. Brown eyes filled with joy met dark blue eyes filled with insensitivity, and the boy spoke suddenly: 

“Do you know how to resolve these?” 

His voice had suppliant accents, as he looked at him with distress. Tobio didn't really want to go and help him, but he had no excuses now that the other caught him, and he felt the looks of the two others students staring at him with curiosity and wait. 

So, he raised up from his chair, took his stuff and bag with him, and joined the boys on the other table. He sat aside of the orange-haired boy, to see his screen while helping him. 

The bleached-haired boy looked at him for a second when he sat down, but quickly get back to his game. He really seemed bored by everything, thought Tobio. 

The other boy seemed truly impatient to have help and explanations, so he started quickly to explain how to resolve the equations. Nevertheless, either his explanations were pretty bad, either his comrade was dumb, because they didn’t make any progress even after his participation. 

Obviously, it was because the boy was dumb. 

“I can't!” complained the human-tangerine — he could not think to another word to describe the boy — after twenty minutes of studying. “You're so bad at explaining!” 

“I'm not! You're just dumb!” 

“I'm not!” 

“Both of you are. Shut up.” snapped the bleached-haired boy without even looking at them. 

“Kenma! That’s mean!” 

The tangerine boy gave his friend a curmudgeonly look and sighed while crossing his arms on his chest. The boy named Kenma didn't even look at him. 

Tobio didn't know how to react in front of the indifference of this boy, so he just stayed inexpressive too. After a few seconds, his orange-haired comrade turned his attention back to him. 

“What's your name?” he asked him. 

“Why do you need it?” 

“To curse you.” Tobio rolled his eyes. 

“Tobio Kageyama.” He answered after. 

“I’m Shôyô Hinata!” He seemed all happy again; Tobio was not sure of the reasons why. “What are you majoring in?” 

“Is this a questioning?” 

“I'm just curious! I’m majoring in foreign languages, in case you're wondering.” 

“I was not.” It was way too easy to make the other boy sulk. Tobio succeeded to do it even without wanting to, but he had no intentions to stop. 

“I’m majoring in advanced mathematics.” he finally responded. 

Honestly, he was not sure at all to have chosen the right path for his studies, but he had no other ideas of studies he would like. Most of his time in middle school and high school was dedicated to volley-ball, and now that he didn’t play a lot any more, he had no other big interest in life. However, that was not very relevant to say to this boy he had just met. 

Nonetheless, the human-tangerine kept staring at him for a second, and Tobio was not sure of what it meant. After this second, Hinata just smiled, one of these bright smiles who made the world seems more colourful that it really is. 

“Nice to meet you!”


	3. a lonely soul(mate)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me bringing the angst back already (:  
> thanks for your reading!

When he left the library ― and the orange-haired boy ― Tobio was feeling inexplicably happier than before. Hinata’s casualness made his dark thoughts disappear, something that hadn’t happen in a while. He even begun to smile while entering the auditorium for his terminology class, a subject he usually hated (and often skipped). 

Tobio took his usual place in the back of the auditorium, and took out from his bag his computer, even if he knew he was probably just going to sleep. He came only because the final exams were coming, and he didn’t want to fail the class. 

Per usual, the others were ignoring him, sitting in the front without paying attention at all to what he was doing. Since he had entered college last spring, he had done everything he could to only be a ghost, a lonely soul without a purpose in life. That was what he had become since this winter. 

On the other hand, he had never been a social person. Even before, he rarely talked to his comrades, apart from the members of the volleyball team of his high school. However, he had to admit that, since his death, it was worse. He had lost contact with almost all his teammates, and stopped talking to other people, even when he entered college. He just listened to the discussions of the others, without interacting with them. In resume, Kageyama lived a simple life, without getting bothered by the contacts with the others. 

Mrs Takako, his psychologist, used to say ‘It’s not a simple life, but a depressive life, Kageyama.’ He didn’t agree with her at all. He was not depressive. He had just changed his way of living, ever since he lost someone he cherished deeply. Wasn’t it normal? How was he supposed to continue acting like nothing had change, when he was now alone? 

The class started, but he wasn’t really listening. He tried to take notes, but it was confused; his mind was not in his college, but back in his dark thoughts ― the relaxing effect of Hinata’s smile seemed to have vanished by now. The date didn’t help either, because it was almost the third birthday of his death, as the snowflakes were showing. He hated those, for making all these memories go back in his mind. As Christmas, the snow belonged to a painful past he didn’t wish to recall. 

He sighed, and looked at his wrist mechanically. The word written on it as a birthmark was still visible, even though it had been three years. It was the universal symbol of soulmates in their world. 

Every child was born with this word on their wrist, except for those whom the soulmate was dead ― there was no way to escape this cruel reality. This word symbolized the way they were supposed to meet their soulmate. Sometimes, the meeting was obvious: ‘flower shop’, ‘coffee shop’, or whatever. However, sometimes, it was less obvious. It was his case: on his wrist was written ‘Cliché’. 

When he was young, he could spend hours thinking about how it would happen. He dreamt of all the Hollywood clichés that could possibly happen in his life. But in the end, their meeting was very different of what he imagined. Their story was too. 

Kageyama sighed again while thinking to these events of the past. He got back on Earth, and suddenly realized that the teacher had left the auditorium. He didn't even know why, but it wasn't probably useful to. Around him, his comrades were whispering about a party organized for Christmas by the students' council. It was a tradition in the college apparently. 

Whatever, he thought. He had no intention to go. He had no friends to go with, and he hated Christmas with all his heart now. His therapist always told him to try celebrating again, but she could not force him, and he never listened to her. 

Christmas only was a commercial celebration in Japan. They were no interest in them celebrating it. 

Especially when Christmas Eve was also the day his whole life crumbled.


	4. stitches on a wrist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl, I heard 'Stitches' from Shawn Mendes every time I was beta-reading this chapter (and it took me a lot of time, trust me)

“Hey! Kageyama!” 

Two days had passed since his visit at the library when Tobio heard, for the first time since he had entered college, a voice calling his name. When he turned back, he saw Hinata running in his direction. His energy was showing, and everyone was looking at them while he arrived in front of him. 

“Good morning!” The shorter greeted him — Tobio had not realized yet their height difference, but it was pretty obvious now. 

Kageyama was surprised. He didn’t expect the other to continue talking to him; most of the people who asked for his help never looked at him again. He answered with a sign of the head, while the other continued to smile brightly. 

“Good morning.” he mumbled in response. 

“Do you have class now?” 

“Yeah. Chemistry transformations.” Hinata looked at him with a grimace. 

“Seems boring.” 

“It is.” He answered while rolling his eyes. The final exam was once again the only reason he was going to the class. 

“I have marketing class! Boring too.” 

“It sounds interesting” Tobio said in response. He never had marketing class, but believed that it was an interesting one. 

“Well, the subjects are, but not the teacher. He doesn't know how to teach something. I mean, he only says, “Good morning” and I already want to sleep!” 

Tobio smiled slightly once again. It seemed like the other one was able to give to his muscles the strength to contract. It was strange, their last discussion was an argument, but now they were talking just like comrades.

“Would you mind helping me with maths again?” After a few minutes of silence, Hinata spoke. Tobio was surprised; plus, he didn't know language degrees involved maths these days.

“Yes I would.” He finally answered. “You’re the worst student I've ever had.” 

“You're the one who doesn't know how to explain things!” 

“Then why are you asking me to help you again?!” 

“Because you're the only person I know who's good at maths and willing to help! Kenma has good grades, but he doesn't want to teach me any more. He says I'm too exhausting.” 

Tobio stayed silent, but he was quietly thinking that this boy named Kenma wasn’t wrong. Hinata seemed like the type of people who always were full of energy, and this kind of people could also be very exhausting to handle every day.

“Why do you need to do mathematics in language degree?” The other looked away for a second with embarrassment. 

“Hum... Well, it’s kinda embarrassing to say, but it’s because of my little sister.” Tobio raised an eyebrow while Hinata continued his explanation: “She thinks that the fact I don’t do mathematics any more is pretty unfair, so I asked a friend of mine in an administration degree if he could give me some exercises to do. I know, it sounds ridiculous.” He added, seeing his confused look. 

Honestly, Tobio didn’t understand why he was doing this. He himself had a big sister, but, god, she would never do this kind of thing for him. She wasn't even in college any more, but even if she still was, she would have laughed at him if he had asked something this childish. 

“So, do you want to help me?” Hinata asked again, with a soft look on his face. Tobio sighed and answered: 

“Yeah, okay.” He didn’t sound really convinced and motivated, but the other just smiled — and how the hell was he doing this brilliant smile? 

“Tomorrow at lunch?” 

“I don’t have class tomorrow.” Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. 

“And? Can’t you come to the college?” 

“No. I don’t want to come just for you.” 

“Mean!” 

Tobio ignored him and look up the hour on his phone. His class was starting in a few minutes and, even if it was one of his most boring class, he couldn't miss the beginning in order to have the complete class. 

“I will come in two days, on Friday.” he finally said. “Is it good with you?” 

“Yeah, fine. It can wait.” 

Hinata said so, but his face was telling the opposite. However, Tobio really had no intention to come the day after. He already had plans with his sister — even if she was bothering him almost every time they were seeing each other, it was rare that she came to Miyagi now that she was working in Tokyo, so he couldn’t cancel their plans like that. 

“Bring your brain with you.” Tobio concluded, before leaving the shorter one to go to his class. The other protested loudly, and exceeded him to go to his class while insulting him. 

When he did, he raised his arms — maybe to make him look taller? — and his right sleeve slid on his wrist, letting his soulmate word visible. 

However, Tobio wasn't able to read it. 

It was covered with stitches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please, don't hesitate to give my your opinion about how the story is going so far!! even if you're french, come and practice your english with me! <3


	5. the boy(s) who smile(d)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did I just notice that I gave the wrong title to my chapter yesterday and had to find a new one quickly before posting? - I'm a perpetual clown.  
> anyways, enjoy this little chapter!
> 
> ps: the arrival of a "new" character in this story coincides with his quick apparition in yesterday's episode, it's a pure coincidence but I love it.

On Friday, Tobio noticed quickly that Hinata wasn't exactly a punctual person. The clock in the cafeteria, where they were supposed to meet, was indicating 12:25 when the orange-haired boy finally arrived — and they were supposed to meet at twelve o'clock. Tobio had already finished his lunch at that time, and was drinking milk to calm his nerves. 

“I'm sorry!” Hinata apologized, even before sitting in front of him. “My literature teacher wanted to talk to me after the class. I hope you weren't waiting for too long.” 

He was, but he didn't say anything. Even if he was bothered by Hinata’s late arrival, he had found ways to make the time pass faster. He had thought for a long time at the stitches he had seen two days ago on the shorter's wrist. He might not be the brightest star in the sky, but he was not that dumb, and he was able to guess what it could mean. 

He was sure there was a word on the boy's wrist. Most likely his soulmate’s word. (It could also be a tattoo made to replace the word who should have been written on it but was missing because the person was dead, but it was less likely.) 

However, this word was covered with straight stitches. So, something was definitely off. But, from what he could tell, it didn't look like some kinds of scarification. It was more like the other tried to erase his soulmate word. And this thought was really impossible to understand for him. Why would the other erase his word like that? If his soulmate was dead, the word would disappear by itself. And if they were still alive, Hinata could still be happy with them... couldn't he? 

The more he was thinking about it, the less he was understanding. And, with Hinata always acting like everything was alright — he had known the other for less than a week, but he was sure the boy was this type of person always in a good mood for the others—, he understood even less. 

“Hey! Are you listening to me?” Hinata complained suddenly, making Tobio get back on Earth. 

“Yeah.” He lied. The other looked at him with suspicion, but changed the subject. 

“I don't know how you can drink that.” He said, looking at the brick of milk the black-haired boy was holding. 

“I like milk.” Tobio answered, as an evidence. “It's good. And it makes people grow.” 

“Stop saying I'm short! You're the one who's too tall!” 

_What a lame excuse_ , Kageyama thought, but he didn't say it out loud, knowing perfectly that it would just lead to another argument between him and Hinata. He didn't want to spend the whole lunch to study mathematics with him, so he stayed silent until the orange-haired boy took his exercises out of his bag. 

“I have a question.” Tobio said, after giving a quick look to it. It was no big deal to his eyes, but he wasn't sure if it would be easy to explain it to the human-tangerine. 

“What is it?” 

“Why doesn't your friend explain these exercises to you himself?” 

“I've told you. He's apparently too busy.” Hinata sighed. “Too busy to kiss his soulmate yeah!” 

Tobio was a little surprised to hear him talk about soulmates freely, without a single bit of bitterness in his voice. For someone who erased his own word with scars, he seemed pretty comfortable with the subject. 

“I see.” He answered after a few seconds of silence, not knowing what else to say. 

He knew very well too what it felt to want to be with your soulmate every day. _Me too, I preferred spent time with_ him _instead of my friends._

They started studying after that. Hinata was once again an awful student, it was almost impossible to keep him focused on something for more than five minutes. 

But, luckily, they succeed to finish all the exercises before having to get back to their own classes. Well, more specifically, Hinata got back to his communication class, while Tobio returned to his home. He normally had a mathematics class, but his teacher had cancelled the lesson earlier, so he was completely free. 

While getting back to his little flat, he planned to study a little before going to the supermarket in order to fulfil his closet again. But, when he arrived in front of the building he was living in, he recognized a figure standing outside it. The figure of someone he had not seen in two years and didn't wish to. 

_Oikawa._


	6. oikawa's (unwanted) return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a huuuge Oikawa lover, you'll soon understand it. hurt my baby boy and I'll come for you (:  
> anyways, enjoy this (sad) (angst) meeting!

Tobio stopped in front of the young man, who was looking at his phone and had not noticed him yet. He wasn't sure how he should react in front of the former captain of Aoba Johsai's volley-ball team, whom he hadn't seen in two years. They had seen each other a few times the first year who followed their common lost, but it had been a while since Tobio had seen him.

Oikawa finally raised his head, and his eyes met Tobio's. His lips opened from the little surprise ― and Tobio wondered if the boy knew he was living there or if he was waiting for someone else. Due to his surprise, the black-haired boy was almost sure the right hypothesis was the second one. 

“Tobio.” His voice was a little deeper than what he remembered. “What are you doing here?” 

Tobio stared at him for a second. Oikawa had not changed that much in the last two years. His hair was shorter than before, and he seemed more muscular, probably due to the intense training he was still inflicting to himself. Unlike him, Oikawa had not stopped playing volleyball. 

“I live here.” He finally answered. 

“Oh.” 

Oikawa stayed silent for a long moment after this short answer. He looked very uneasy, something strange for this exuberant boy who always seemed at ease, no matter the situation. In front of his teammates as of complete strangers, he was always able to befriend them, and to make them trust him in a few minutes. There was a time when Tobio admired this ability of his. 

(Maybe it was still the case somehow.) 

“How have you been?” finally asked his former senior. He was looking away while asking this question, another thing that he never did before. 

“...” Tobio didn’t know what to answer to this question, which seemed ridiculous to him. Was he really supposed to answer that he had been doing fine since his death? 

“Yeah. I know how it is.” Oikawa answered by himself with a sigh. “I miss him too.” 

Honestly, Tobio could have told only by taking a look at him. For someone who had not known Oikawa before, he was probably doing well, dealing with those terrible events of the past without too many problems. But, for someone who always looked up at him, it was obvious that he was not. 

Nonetheless, Tobio noticed some positive changes in him. He had stopped wearing that jean jacket he always wore after what happened, and the dark circles under his eyes had apparently disappeared ― or the brunet was hiding them under beauty products. 

“You don’t look that bad.” He said, without any mean intention in it ― but it sounded less aggressive in his mind to be honest. 

“I don’t have to always look in grief to still be in it.” retorted Oikawa in answer. For a moment, Tobio saw in him again the arrogant senior he was before, that he admired for his talent. But, when he spoke again, he was calm anew, and his face showed a lot of sadness and pain. “I know it’s hard. But don’t act like if it was harder for you than for me. I loved him as much as you did.” The past tense used by Oikawa made Tobio grit his teeth. 

“And now you don’t love him any more, that’s it?” 

He couldn’t help but think that his psychologist would have been satisfied if she was here: he was acting exactly like before the terrible events of the past. Kind of aggressive, and unable to fully understand what he was supposed to say in this terrible situation. 

“We can’t love a ghost forever.” Oikawa replied on a low tone. “As hard as it is, he won’t come back.” He sighed deeply after saying that, and added, probably more for himself than for Tobio: “Even if I would give up everything I have to see him one last time.” 

Tobio didn’t say anything. There was nothing to add; so he just turned around and walked away from the former Seijoh’s captain. He knew he was acting like a child, running away from his problems and painful memories. That was what he was doing since his death. But he did not know how to act when people came and reminded him of what he had lost. How was he supposed to accept their attitude full of a pity he did not wanted? 

What we lost never come back, and we only live with their memories. That was the relentless thought stuck in his head since what happened that winter. The memories were the only thing he had left, so he could not give up on them that easily. He did not want to just throw them away to stop suffering. But at the same time, he was conscious of the cruel fact that there were those memories who prevented him from getting happy again. 

Oikawa seemed like he had been able to find a compromise between the complete forget and a life full of memories. Tobio wasn’t able to do the same, and that’s probably why he felt so angry while running away from his senior with a heavy heart. 

All he wanted to do now was burying himself away in his flat, and not going out for, at least, a year.


	7. you don't know what it's like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to my dear Foxy (sadly, I don't know what's your AO3 username, but I know you'll recognize yourself) because her favorite boy is home <3  
> thanks again for all the kudos and comments, and have a good reading ~

A few hours later, the sound of the doorbell made Tobio sighed and go out of his hibernation. As soon as he had got back in his flat, he had closed his door, and buried himself in a blanket — was it the one he had stolen from him a few years ago? He couldn’t remember and didn’t want to. 

He considered for a few minutes not opening the door to his visitor — which he hoped wasn't Oikawa again — but the other kept ringing the bell, and he finally rose from his sofa to go to his door. 

When he opened it, he was relieved to see that it wasn’t Oikawa standing in front of him, but his relief did not last; as soon as he recognized Sugawara, he considered the idea of closing the door again. Nonetheless, the memory of his terrifying senior stopped him, and he greeted the young man before letting him enter. 

“Hi, Kageyama.” Sugawara said while entering. “How have you been?” 

“... Fine.” He lied, not wanting to explain to the grey-haired man that he had seen Oikawa again and had not succeeded in talking to him kindly. 

“Really?” Sugawara did not seem convinced by his tone — honestly, no one would have been convinced. 

“Yeah.” 

The former setter took a look at the dark flat — Tobio had not switched on the light when he had arrived, preferring the obscurity to hide himself — and sighed, before getting to the closest interrupter. When the light illuminated the whole piece, both of them winced. Tobio because he had forgotten how messy his flat was, and Sugawara probably because this same mess was bothering him. 

“You should clean up a bit.” 

“It's okay. I like disorder.” The silver-haired boy gave him a doubtful look. 

“Are you really doing fine ?” He asked in response. 

“I am.” Tobio repeated. 

He liked Sugawara, he really did, but he wanted him to leave as soon as possible. Since what happened three years ago, Sugawara had always been there to support Tobio as much as he could, not complaining even when the black-haired boy was acting like a perfect jerk because his grief was stronger than his reason. 

But the truth was that Sugawara never acted ‘kindly’ with him either. He was a good listener and a supportive friend, but he never avoided confrontation with Tobio when he was acting all dumb, and always told him his mistakes. Tobio was thankful for this, but currently, he was feeling so bad that he really didn’t want to hear those tough words once again. 

“I know it's still hard for you.” Sugawara finally spoke again. He stayed silent a few seconds, before adding: “I spoke with Oikawa on the phone. I know he saw you earlier, while he was waiting for his nephew.” Tobio was already sure that Oikawa was not waiting in the street to talk to him, but he was surprised to learn that it was because of his nephew. 

“Why was he waiting _here_ ?” He asked on a stern tone. 

“Takeru was going to the doctor who works in front of your building. Oikawa had driven him there. But that's not my point.” Kageyama rolled his eyes. 

“I'm really fine. It was just weird for me to talk to Oikawa again, after all these years.” 

That was not exactly a lie. Since the terrible events of that winter, he had not talked much to the brunet, especially since the setter had entered a college outside of Miyagi. They avoided each other, not wanting the memories to suddenly reappear. So, this unexpected meeting had taken him by surprise. 

“I guess it’s not unusual.” remarked Sugarawa. “But still... I’m worried that this time of the year is difficult to bear for you.” 

“Thanks for worrying, Sugawara, but I’m good.” And he really wanted his senior to leave. 

“Then, why are you looking again at these old pictures?” 

The former Karasuno’s setter waved a hand in the direction of two photo albums placed on the coffee table, and Tobio cursed himself for not hiding them before letting Sugawara enter in his flat. Now, he was dead. 

“Nostalgia?” He tried to justify himself, but Sugawara just furrowed his eyebrows deeper. 

“Right. Nostalgia.” He repeated, on a chilling tone. 

“You’re not my mom, Sugawara.” Tobio said after a long minute of a silent full of judgment. “I can swear to you I’m doing fine.” 

“How can you be fine while living in your memories?” He was right, but Tobio was too narrow-minded at the moment to recognize it easily. 

“Well, I am.” 

Kageyama could tell only by looking at his senior that he was getting more and more upset at his childish attitude, but he also didn’t want to let him judge his life like he was doing right now. Tobio knew deep in his heart that he was not doing as good as he pretended to. However, he hated this fact and didn't want, not at all, to say it out loud. 

“You don’t know what it’s like to lose your soulmate.” Tobio finally said. “Please, don’t act like you understand what I’ve been through.” 

On these words, he turned his back to his senior, and left his own flat without thinking to the stupidity of this act at all.


	8. the ace and the setter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so now that everybody has guessed who died, I can tell you what happened lmao. and, please, send love to Iwaizumi despite what this chapter is saying, because there will be a second part to explain what really happened ;)

Tobio walked for a long time, even if his fingers were frozen and his feet painful. The snow was falling stronger on the streets. The cars were rare, consequence of this fine quench of snow. 

He was not even paying attention to his muscles’ pain, because his heart’s was stronger. All his memories of his soulmate were coming back to him, with strength. He tried not to think, not to revive these painful memories, but his brain kept showing them back to him, no matter how hard he tried. 

His soulmate wasn't perfect. He wasn't, like people loved to tell him, a soulmate everyone would have wished for. However, Tobio loved him with his whole heart, and these feelings never left him, even when their relationship ended. 

The first and the second time. 

Was there anyone in his relatives who really knew their whole story? He thought about it for a long time, and realized that they were probably no one, except Oikawa. Tobio rarely talked about what happened exactly, and people never dared to ask, afraid of his reaction. 

His soulmate’s name was Hajime Iwaizumi. He was two years older than him, but they went to the same junior high school, Kitagawa Daiichi, and were in the same volley-ball club. Honestly, when they first met, Tobio couldn't believe Iwaizumi was his soulmate, the one he was supposed to spend his whole life with. His senior seemed... so impressive, at least to his child’s eyes. 

Ace of the team, Oikawa’s best friend since they were six, popular in the eyes of everyone in their school. If Tobio had to guess who would be the soulmate of this amazing spiker, he wouldn't have thought of himself. 

(The awful irony was that he would have thought of Oikawa. And, damn, how right he would have been, despite everything). 

Their first meeting wasn't like he had always pictured it. Proof is, he hadn't even noticed their meeting was linked to his soulmate word. He had always thought that it would look like a Hollywood film, full of clichés but the thing is, it wasn't the case at all. 

Little did he know, the soulmate word was generally not as obvious as it seemed to be. In their case, it had a double meaning that he couldn't have guessed at all. Because, in some languages like French, 'Cliché' also had the meaning of 'shot'. Like a picture taken by a camera. And, during their first meeting, Iwaizumi had a camera, bought for his mother. He even took a photo of the whole volleyball club to test it. 

(Seriously, how the hell was he supposed to understand that? He didn't even speak French!) 

Honestly, he wouldn't have understood if he hadn't noticed that Iwaizumi had the same word as him on his wrist. He was completely speechless when he saw that during a training, after a spike of the boy who left his arm visible. He only understood later, when he discussed with Iwaizumi about that. 

(When he thought back to these memories, he was able to see once again the look Iwaizumi gave him when they understand they were soulmates. It was a happy look, but full of sadness at the same time. Tobio didn't understand at that time. Understanding came later, with disillusion). 

At the beginning, their relationship was very awkward. All his childhood, Tobio had been told that he had a soulmate somewhere, and that they will spend the rest of their life together once they would have met. However, no one had ever told him ― nor Iwaizumi apparently ― how he was supposed to act once they will have met. A part of him had thought that it would be natural, that the feelings would come immediately. 

That only worked in the dreams apparently. 

Nonetheless, the feelings came. After a few awkward dates, Tobio started to fall for Iwaizumi. Because Iwaizumi was amazing, beautiful and understanding. It was so easy to accept that a person that wonderful was the one made for him, the one who would be forever at his side. One year after their meeting, they became an official couple. Happiness was at the rendezvous, and everything was perfect. 

Too bad, happiness and perfection are not made to last. 

After a year and half of dating, when Tobio entered high school, things started to go wrong. Due to his low intelligence level, he wasn't able to make it through Aoba Johsai, and wasn't able then to attend the same school as his soulmate. It wasn't really a big deal honestly, because neither Iwaizumi nor him liked being together every time and everywhere. 

But the matter was that it changed some little things in their relation. They talked less, and saw each other less. However, Tobio was fine with it, Hajime seemed to be too. So, everything was okay. 

(Or not.) 

In November of the same year, after almost an entire school year apart, they went on a special date to celebrate their two years together, and Seijoh's recent victories ― as well as Karasuno's, where Tobio attended. However, during this date, they had a talk he would never have thought they would have. 

“I have something to tell you.” After a whole day spent together, Iwaizumi had said these words. 

“What is it?” 

“I kissed someone else.” The sudden confession left Tobio speechless. “And I think we can't continue like that, Kageyama.” 

And so, everything started to crumble.


	9. Iwaizumi and Kageyama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand this is the end of the past o/ I really enjoyed writing these memories, I hope you liked them despite of the full angst in it :)  
> this chapter is a little shorter than usually because the past was supposed to be in one chapter, but it was very long (almost 2k) so I cut it in two parts!

“I kissed someone else. And I think we can't continue like that.” 

Honestly, Tobio couldn't understand what Iwaizumi meant when he said those words. His brain had frozen at them, and all he could do was just staring at him with blank eyes. He wasn't naive. He was well aware that life is not perfect, and that love stories aren't all made of lovely moments. He knew that. 

However, he could never have thought that Iwaizumi would cheat on him, and then break up with him. Why? Why would he do so? Wasn't he good enough? Was Iwaizumi tired of him? The ace had said he wasn't. He had said it was not Tobio's fault if this had happened, that he was the only responsible. He had explained on a low tone that things had gone really quickly these past weeks, and that he had realized a lot of things. 

“I don't want to be the kind of guy who's in relationship with two people at the same moment, without any of them knowing. I prefer being honest with you, even though it's probably not easy for you.” 

Oh, Iwaizumi. Perfect, angelic, charismatic Iwaizumi. How was Tobio supposed to be angry at him? It was obvious that Iwaizumi wasn't taking any pleasure in the situation they were stuck in. And, yes, Tobio preferred knowing the truth as well than just making a fool of himself during weeks, months, or even years. 

“Can I ask who it is?” He knew it wasn't a good idea to ask, but he had felt the need to know. Somewhere in his heart, he probably already knew. He just needed to hear Iwaizumi say it. 

“That’s...” Iwaizumi paused for a moment, but finally answered. “Oikawa.” 

Wasn't the life cruel? At their first meeting, Tobio had thought that Oikawa would be a good soulmate for Iwaizumi. And now, him, Iwaizumi's true soulmate, was left alone because of Oikawa. It seemed like a vicious circle. 

After that, nothing went right in his life. He was already not seeing Iwaizumi much because of their different schools, but he stopped seeing him completely. After more than three years spent at his side, it was very difficult for Tobio to adjust himself. He felt lonely without Iwaizumi. Really, really lonely. He had Karasuno. He had his family. But it was not the same. 

Not long before Christmas, Tobio decided to see Iwaizumi. He wanted to talk to him, even if it was going to break his heart more. So, he called him, and, unexpectedly, the older accepted. They scheduled their meeting on Christmas Eve ― none of them was available before. 

Tobio was feeling a bit light-heartedly the days before their meeting because he was genuinely happy to see his soulmate (who was not acting like it any more) once again. He really felt the need to have him in his life. 

And once again, the life broke his hopes in a million pieces. 

The day they were supposed to meet, the famous Christmas Eve where children from all the world wait for Santa Claus to come during the night, he had a call. From Oikawa. Telling him that Iwaizumi had an accident. 

And 

that. 

he 

had 

passed. 

away. 

Yes. The life was cruel. So cruel that Tobio’s heart got crushed by it, not once but twice. After that, everything seemed meaningless, truly. Kageyama had never considered himself a person driven by his emotions. However, he couldn't continue to act normally after all of that. He was more in love with the boy that he had thought. 

Now, he was just lost in a world where happiness didn't have its place. What for? So far, it had just brought him into a circle of despair later. 

A world with no special happiness was better. 

A world made of black and white was better. 

Or so he thought. 

He had spent so much time lost in his thought that he wasn't sure of where he was when he got back on Earth, but he knew something else. 

The sun had pierced into the clouds. 

And his world started to get brighter again, as he looked right in front of him and met two brown eyes filled with surprise and joy. 

“Kageyama?”


	10. a ray of sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe this chapter is my favorite so far, because I was feeling... idk how to explain but I was like very confident while writing it?? Maybe it's why it will be less well-written than usually lmao  
> Anyways, I hope not and I wish you a good reading :) the KageHina is coming after some angst <3

Tobio raised his look up to see who just talked to him. A part of him had already recognized the person who had spoken, but he needed to see with his own eyes the face of the ray of sun who had pierced through the dark clouds of his memories. 

Hinata was standing in front of him, a plastic bag in his hands and a worried look on his face. His brown eyes were filled with so many feelings that Tobio was barely able to notice all of them. Joy, surprise, worry, and probably other things he couldn’t name. 

Tobio had lost track of time, blew up by his memories, so he took a quick look around, to see where he was now. He had walked a lot: from what he could tell, he was in a street far from his, in the opposite side of the city. _Great,_ he thought, _I’ll have a lot to walk to return to my house_. He couldn't help but think that he was pretty stupid to have gone that far and left Sugawara in his flat. Because, obviously, the other setter wasn't going to leave until he would come back. 

“Hey.” He finally spoke to Hinata when his eyes got back on him. The other was oddly quiet for once. 

“Are you alright? You seem unwell. The milk you drank was out-of-date?” The innocent question was far away from the seriousness of his previous state, but Tobio couldn't help but think that it was better like that. Another serious talk was not what he needed right now. 

“Maybe.” He answered. Hinata looked at him with wide eyes. 

“Wow! You didn't even yell at me a bit. You must be seriously in pain!” 

“Do you think I’m always angry?” 

“... Yeah?” 

The answer was so genuine that Tobio wondered for the first time in a while what kind of impression he was giving to the others. Was everyone really thinking that he was always mad at everyone and that it was why he wasn’t speaking to anyone? He hoped not, because it was far away from being the truth. 

“So, do you live near this street?” Hinata asked after a few seconds of silence. 

“No, not at all. I was... taking a walk?” 

“Is that a question? You don’t even know what you’re doing here?” Hinata looked at him with suspicious eyes. “Now, I’m starting to be afraid.” 

“Afraid of what exactly?” 

“Afraid that you’re following me to kill me in a dark corner!” The black-haired boy rolled his eyes. 

“I didn’t even know you were living in this street. You never told me.” 

“You could have asked Kenma!” 

“Would he have told me?” 

“... Probably not.” 

Plus, added Tobio in his head, he had never seen the bleached-hair boy anywhere in the college since their meeting at the library. It looked like he was never there. (Not that Tobio really looked up for him. He just noticed that he had never seen the boy since that day at the library.) 

“So, uh, do you wanna come to my house?” Hinata talked again. Tobio raised an eyebrow at his proposition. 

“What for?” 

“Because it’s snowing and you look completely frozen. Nothing personal, really, but you seriously look like you’ve just pass in a washing machine.” 

“A washing machine? Seriously?” 

“You’re soaked, and your face is scarier than usually, so I think it’s the best comparison.” 

Tobio gave him a death look, but nodded. He had really no desire to get back to his flat and apologize to Sugawara. Besides, he was actually starting to feel the cold in his body, and that was not pleasurable at all. The shorter looked really happy to see him accept his proposition, and showed him a house upper the street. 

“It’s just there!” 

Hinata’s house was very different of his own flat. Obviously because it was not the same type of building at all, but also because the atmosphere coming from it was very different. Tobio only needed a look to understand that in this house was leaving a happy and loving family. 

“I’m home!” yelled Hinata when they both entered and took off their shoes in the entrance. 

“Welcome back!” A girl voice responded to him, and soon after, an orange-haired head appeared on the top of the stairs. “You brought a visitor?” 

She went downstairs quickly to see him. Tobio also took a good look at her. She looked a lot like Hinata: same warm brown eyes, same orange hair, same bright smile. She seemed a bit younger than the tangerine boy, she was probably still in middle school or high school, he wasn't sure. 

“Hi! I'm Natsu!” she greeted him with enthusiasm. “What's your name?” 

“Tobio Kageyama.” She opened wide eyes and looked at her brother. 

“Oh! It's him? Your mathematics teacher?” Tobio was surprised to hear that Hinata had talked about him to his family, especially when he was always complaining about his teaching skills. The orange-haired boy seemed a bit embarrassed. 

“Yeah, it's him.” He replied finally. 

“So, you left to buy leeks and you come back with your teacher?” Natsu said with amusement. Her brother rolled his eyes. 

“Don't you have homework to do?” 

She laughed a bit, then returned upstairs, probably to get back in her room. Hinata went into the kitchen to put the leeks away, letting Tobio wait for a few minutes in the entrance. The former setter's only thought while waiting, was that he wasn't going to get bored with this family apparently...


	11. a hidden shot tells a lot of things - or not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when the KageHina is appearing... or not (: time to make the situation more complicated! our poor Kageyama is going to have trouble understanding what's going on.  
> as always, I hope you'll enjoy!

After putting the leeks away, Hinata led Tobio into the living room. It was a huge piece with a lot of windows and painting on the walls. It had a lot of space, and was filled with plants and seats of all forms and types. 

“We’re used to having a lot of visiting.” Hinata explained after they both entered. “So, we always have a lot of seats. Choose the one you prefer!” Tobio took a good look to all the seats, and choose a simple chair. Hinata raised an eyebrow, but for once, didn't comment. “Sorry about my sister. She loves interfering in my life.” 

“I have a sister too. I know what it’s like.” Tobio replied, sternly. 

“Oh, really? A little sister too?” 

“No, she’s older than me. But she loves sticking her nose into my life.” 

“I can imagine that. Is it a sister thing?” Maybe it was, thought Tobio. From what he knew, Oikawa, who also had an older sister, complained a lot too about her nosiness, even though they had a lot of age difference. “Do you want to drink anything? Hinata asked, changing the subject very fast as always. 

“No.” He answered. He added, after a second: “Thanks.” (He was a guest, but couldn't just be impolite when Hinata helped him by inviting him in his house without asking any personal question). 

He looked again at the sitting room and his eyes stopped again on the paintings. He noticed then that they weren’t only paintings, but also shots. Hinata followed his look and smiled widely when he understood what Tobio was looking at. 

“My mother is a professional photographer. She goes all around the world for her job, and some of her shots are very famous! Us, we have our own exclusive shots.” The mention of photography reminded to Tobio his soulmate, but he kept an indifferent mask on his face. 

“They look very cool.” He said. 

“I'm glad you can see it! It looks like you have actually a lot of taste. I thought you didn't, with your milk addiction.” Tobio rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to respond, but he got cut by a loud voice from upstairs. 

“Shô! Come here!” 

The orange-haired boy sighed while hearing his sister calling for him. He smiled, and excused himself before joining her in her room, leaving Tobio alone in the living room. The black-haired boy decided to give a closer look at the pictures, and went in front of them. He saw a lot of beautiful shots indeed: many of them were showing the two children of the Hinata family. 

Tobio noticed Hinata and his sister at a lot of different ages, but also Kenma, on a few pictures. The boy always looked like he wanted to hide himself. There were also some other boys he didn't recognize: a tall black-haired boy who looked like a rooster, always posing with Kenma, and another boy with bicolour hair. On some shots, this same boy was smiled with a fourth one, with dark hair and a neutral look. 

But these shots, even if they showed how much of a sociable person was Hinata, weren't the one who caught his attention. The only one who did was a shot hidden behind another shot; he noticed it only because the first one was slowly falling. 

It showed Hinata smiling with a new boy he had never seen in the college or on any other shot. A young boy with golden hair and an arrogant smile. Hinata and him were smiling at the camera, their hands intertwined together. Was he Hinata's soulmate? Tobio was still not sure of what relation Hinata had with his significant other, knowing the scars he had on his word. But on this shot, who was probably only two or three years old, both of them looked so happy. 

He stared at him for a second, when his phone suddenly rang and made him jump. He took it out of his pocket, and looked at the person calling him. Sugawara. Of course. He sighed but picked up. 

_“Kageyama? Where are you?”_

“At a friend's house.” He replied on a neural tone. “You don't need to worry.” 

_“I'm not worried. I just want to return to my own flat.”_ Sugawara retorted. _“Can you come back now? Or else I'll leave your door open while leaving.”_ Tobio was almost sure he wouldn't be able to do that, he was way too kind, but he didn't want to try him. 

“Fine. I'll be there as soon as I can.” 

_“Good. Oh, and, Kageyama?”_

“Yes?” 

_“I'm sorry if I sounded too intrusive. I just want to you to get better.”_

Sugawara ended the conversation on these words, not letting him answered anything. Tobio stayed silent, looking at the screen of his phone who just showed Sugawara’s picture. He knew his senior didn't have any bad intention. It was just very difficult for him to cope up with this kindness while his mind was still grieving for Iwaizumi's absence. 

He wasn't really sure how to put it. He knew he couldn't stay stuck in his memories, that was very unhealthy. But at the same time, moving on wasn’t easy, and he felt a glimpse of guilt every time he was feeling truly happy and forgetting that Iwaizumi wasn't here any more. He knew he didn't have to feel that way, because he wasn't responsible for the ace's death, but it was just this way. 

“Oh, Kageyama?” The sound of Hinata's voice got him back on Earth once again, and he turned his eyes on his host, who was apparently back in the living room. “You were looking at the shots?” The black-haired boy joined him in the entrance of the piece, to avoid an awkward situation if the other saw the picture of his possibly soulmate, supposedly hidden. 

“Yeah. They’re really beautiful.” 

“I'm glad you think so! I'll tell that to my mom when she will come back from her business trip.” 

“She's away for a while?” 

“Yes, she went to India for a photoshoot. She should be back in a few days.” 

It wasn't really surprising, Tobio knew photographers often went away for special photoshoots. 

“I have to go now.” He said after a minute. “My friend is waiting for me at my house.” 

“Oh, okay! Be careful! It's already dark outside, and I think it's still snowing.” His worrying made Tobio smiled — just a little. 

“Thanks for letting me stay.” 

The other gave him one of his bright smiles, before letting Kageyama leave. The black-haired boy took a bus to return safely to his home — luckily, the road had been cleaned from any snow, and the snowflakes were now tiny. Then, he freed Sugawara from his duty, and let him go on his date. 

He spent the rest of the night trying to distress a bit while watching the TV. 

And he realized, just before going to sleep, that the sadness he always had in his heart was weaker than it had ever been.


	12. meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> couldn't resist to add some more characters sorry <3 KageHina is perfection, but these are cuties too :)  
> (random fact: it took me FIVE minutes to put the H in their ship name because my keyboard is messed up and doesn't want to put any h or g, I hate it)  
> (other random fact: I had to rewrite this chapter because my stupid word processing ERASED it instead of saving it, istg this chapter is cursed but I still like it) 
> 
> I believe this is the longest chapter of this story so enjoy :D

As he passed more time with Hinata, Tobio was more and more confused at his own behaviour. That was what he was thinking the whole week-end who followed his little visit to the Hinata's house. He didn't really know what to think about the fact that the shorter had the capacity to make Iwaizumi leave his mind, something no one actually succeeded for three years. However, because he hated the simple idea of dwell on thoughts again and again, he decided not to think too much to what it could possibly mean. The only thing he was sure of was that he was feeling slightly better these past days. It was very subtle, but he felt it. 

Another reason for his confusion regarding Hinata was the fact that his new “friendship” with him ― he wasn't sure if it was correct to call their small interactions a friendship, but he couldn't think of any other term ― had an influence on his own acquaintances. Since he had entered college, he hadn't talked to a lot of people: he barely knew the name of his own comrades, so, obviously, he didn't know at all the students of other degrees. 

But, during a whole week, he kept bumping into people he didn't know at all, but who all knew him because of Hinata. 

On the Monday, he went into the library to borrow a book for a huge work he had to do for one of his final exams. However, while he was trying to find it, he almost stepped on someone rolled into a ball on the floor, too busy playing to a video game to pay attention to his surroundings. He recognized after a second Kenma, who didn't even raised his look up at him ― had he even noticed that Tobio had almost hit him? 

“Hello?” The black-haired boy asked after a hesitation. He had noticed that the bleached-hair boy disliked being interrupted while playing, but he was in the passing. 

“Hello.” Kenma answered on a low tone, his attention still focused on his console. 

“Why do you sit here to play?” Tobio said after a minute where nothing happened. 

“The librarian does not allow me to sit at a table without working. She says that these places are only for students who need to do their assignments.” 

“Then, why don’t you go somewhere else?” This time, Kenma looked at him, with a bored expression on his face. 

“Because we’re in December and there’s snow outside. And the classrooms are too loud. I can’t focus well.” 

His explanations were pretty much convincing, thought Tobio, even though he was still thinking that the boy could have found a better place to play than the floor of the library. He managed to pass despite the boy being in the passage, and succeeded to find the book he needed. In the same time, he picked two others books, not related with class this time. The last time he had seen her, Miwa had complained that he wasn't reading enough and had made for him a selection of books she liked. Tobio usually did not listen to her complaints, especially when they were so hypocritical ― just like she was reading a lot! ― but some books seemed a bit interesting, and he needed to fill his mind. 

“They are good books.” Kenma said when Tobio passed once again in front of him. The black-haired boy didn't even know when the other saw the title of the books in question, because his eyes were still focused on his game. 

“Have you read them?” He asked, a bit surprised. He had thought that the other was not the type to read much. 

“No. But Kuroo did, so I guess they’re good, because he usually gives up on these types of books.” 

Tobio had no clue of who was this Kuroo, but he guessed it was one of Kenma’s friends. Probably. The bleached-hair boy had spoken on a critical tone, but he had felt a bit of affection behind it. Whoever it was, it was probably a close person. 

(On the Tuesday, he had a kind of confirmation of that when he walked out of the college, and saw in front of it Kenma and a tall black-haired boy he had seen on one of the pictures in Hinata’s living room. The taller was holding Kenma’s console, who was trying to get it back while calling him “Idiot” and “Kuroo”.) 

Then, it was on Wednesday: Tobio had two classes, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, without a long break between them. During the few minutes he had free before the second class, he went to the closest cafeteria ― the campus was very important, and had several cafeterias for all the students ― to buy a sandwich and a brick of milk. But, as he was leaving the place, he got stopped by a sudden yell in his direction. 

“Ah! You with the brick of milk!” Tobio turned wide eyes around him, searching for the person who yelled at him like that. His blue eyes finally met a short boy running in his direction (and, for a second, he considered running as well ― who the hell was this guy?). “You’re Kageyama, right?” Tobio nodded after a hesitation. “Ah! I knew it!” 

“Noya, you’re scaring him.” 

Another voice, deeper than the first boy’s voice, resonated, and Tobio turned his head once again to see another student arriving from behind him. While the first was a small brown-haired boy (with a blond strand of hair), the second was a tall boy who looked more like a middle-aged adult than a college student. Tobio recognized him after a second. 

“Azumane?” It was one of his seniors in high school. Tobio didn't remember that he was studying there too ― was he really a student of this college? 

“Hello, Kageyama. Please, excuse Noya, he doesn't mean any harm.” 

“Of course I don’t! I was just curious!” Tobio looked back at him. 

“Do we know each other?” He asked. 

“No, I don’t think so! The name is Yû Nishinoya, nice to meet you!” The other greeted him. “I’m Shôyô's friend! It’s me who give him the mathematics homework!” 

So, this was the student in administration Hinata had told him about? The one who was too busy kissing his soulmate to help him himself? (Of course, he didn't say that out loud, and just took a good look at Azumane and Noya.) 

“I wanted to thank you myself! I would have love to help him, but, sadly, I’m too busy.” Azumane laughed a bit at these words. 

“You are also very bad at mathematics, Noya.” The shorter blushed in embarrassment. 

“That’s not true! The teacher doesn't like me, that’s all!” His friend smiled softly to him. 

“If you prefer.” 

Nishinoya sulked a bit at this sentence, and crossed his arms under his chest. However, he didn't reply anything, changing the subject and leading the conversation until Tobio reminded him that he himself had class in a few minutes and needed to go back inside. He was secretly happy to escape the boy, because he seemed like a really energetic person, and Tobio had no will to cope up with so much energy at the moment. 

Despite that, the following days, Noya kept greeting him loudly in the corridors, and Azumane started crossing his path more often than before. He also briefly met two friends of them: a boy named Taketora, and his (mom) senior Yaku. The first was a bit loud too, but the second was very calm and kind, and Tobio liked him quickly. 

On the last day of the week, Tobio was feeling tired of all these new meetings. Nonetheless, he also felt a bit happy. It was the first "friends" he really got at the college, except for Hinata. _I will say that to Sugawara next time he calls me_ , he thought while going back to his flat. _So that he will see I’m doing fine._

However, when he arrived in front of his flat, he saw a silhouette outside it. For a second, he thought it was Oikawa again, and was already ready to turn back to avoid him. Then, he realized that it couldn't be him – the silhouette was wearing a skirt and had long hair. He felt a bit relieved realizing that, but this relief didn't last. 

“Kageyama!” The young woman called his name as soon as she saw him, despite the fact that he was pretty sure he didn't know who she was. “We need to talk.”


	13. their last conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you'll see in this chapter that I decided to call Oikawa's sister "Miyuko". I'm pretty sure it won't stay her name in my other works (I don't even know when they will come out here but they will one day) but I had no better idea from now on, so it'll be fine–
> 
> anyways enjoy your reading <3

Honestly, Tobio started to believe he was cursed. Not only because his whole life had taken a very dramatic turning point since Iwaizumi's death, but also because it seemed like he was condemned to see every day someone who would try to stick their nose in his business, and try to help him when himself was pretty sure he did not need their help.

Even if he knew very well that some things were complicated in his mind right now, and that his grief hadn't ended yet, he didn't need to see all his acquaintances trying to take his therapist’s place.

“I'm flattered that you like me so much that you don't want anyone to take my place.” The sudden voice of his therapist made Tobio remember where he was, and realized that he had talked out loud. He opened his eyes ― the woman had made him close them in order to focus ― and looked at her.  
“Well, at least you have a diploma.” He muttered. The woman ― her name was Takako ― laughed a bit.  
“I wish you would like me for my personality, but it's okay, I'll get over it.” 

The college student rolled his eyes and smiled a little. Most of the time, she was getting on his nerves by trying to make him talk about his inner thoughts, so it was difficult for him to say that he liked her. But he admitted that she seemed nice and had a good sense of humour. 

“So, tell me, from who did you get visits? You said that a lot of people came to see you.”  
“Sugawara did. And I saw Oikawa, but it was more an accident than a visit.” She rose an eyebrow.  
“So you didn't get so many visits?”  
“Two is already more than what I'm used to. And I saw someone else yesterday.” Takako looked interested suddenly.  
“Oh? Who?”  
“Miyuko.”  
“Who's that?” Tobio sighed.  
“Oikawa's sister.”

A silent welcomed his sentence. For once, even his therapist seemed not to know what to answer to this declaration ― honestly, it was understandable. He had heard of Miyuko before, but never had the opportunity to meet her. She was almost ten years older than Oikawa, so they never went in the same school. Even Iwaizumi barely knew her apparently, because she was studying far from Miyagi, and rarely came back except for celebrations. 

The only things he knew about her were that she was very pretty ― Oikawa always bragged about their natural beauty which was “written in their genes” ― and had a son, named Takeru. As for the father of the child, he didn't really know, and never dared to ask Oikawa about him. He wasn't sure it was a subject that could be talked about. 

“So, Oikawa's older sister came to your flat?” His therapist spoke again, after writing a few words in her notebook.  
“Yes.”  
“And what for?”  
“She wanted to tell me that I was wrong to think that Oikawa had overcome Iwaizumi's death entirely. That he was still grieving, but tried to stay strong, and to continue to live like Iwaizumi would have wanted him to.”

He had summarized a lot what she had told him, because she actually had stayed for a long time in his flat. She had told him a lot of stories about how she learned that her young brother was in love with someone who wasn't his soulmate and already had met the soulmate in question. She had explained to him how Iwaizumi and Oikawa had struggled a lot before coming up with the decision of assuming the love they felt for each other. 

And, obviously, she had told him how much her bother grieved for Iwaizumi's death, and how much he was still missing him. Tobio had listened to her without saying anything ― a part of him had feared that she would strangle him if he dared to say anything, because she looked like she was capable of. 

“So, she came to change your mind about her little brother?” Takako seemed sceptical, and he could understand. It would be strange if this woman he had never met before had come all this way just to explain to him why he should like her brother, no matter what happened between us.  
“Actually, she came for more than that. She wants me to talk to Oikawa. About (He mimicked inverted commas) important matters.”  
“Such as?”  
“His relationship with Iwaizumi. Mine. All of that.”  
“Because you never did, right?” Yes. The few times they had met since Iwaizumi's passing, they obviously had not talked about the “you basically stole my soulmate” thing.  
“Yes. I didn't see any interest in doing so.”  
“And now you do?” He sighed.  
“Miyuko said that we needed to talk about it, because Oikawa had always felt kind of guilty because of him and Iwaizumi being together.” 

She had also added something he was not aware of, and this something had also decided him to obey Miyuko's order. He never knew the exact circumstances of Iwaizumi's accident; and he certainly didn't know that it had followed an argument between the two partners, and that this argument was about him. 

Knowing Oikawa's childish personality, it wasn't hard for Tobio to picture the brown-haired boy acting all dumb (and maybe jealous) because Iwaizumi was going to meet his ex instead of hanging out with him. He had probably pouted a lot, and brought on the table an argument they eventually had a lot of time already. 

Oikawa just didn't know it was going to be their last conversation. 

“And so? Are you going to do it?” Tobio sighed again, and answered:  
“Yes. She has already settled the meeting. For tomorrow evening.”


	14. the (former) king of the court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old readers will notice that the story starts to take a different turning point than before, and, trust me, it's not going to get better soon (:  
> But I haven't forget my happy ending, don't worry :)
> 
> enjoy your reading!

After leaving his therapist's surgery, Tobio was thinking to this meeting he didn't want to go to, but didn't really have a choice. A part of him was thinking that it couldn't do any harm... right? To him, Oikawa had always acted like a stubborn idiot, but he also knew, thanks to the match they played against each other, that Oikawa also was a serious person when it came to important matters. In these conditions, they would probably be able to have a real talk about what always stayed a taboo between them. 

(But, seriously, Tobio wasn't sure of how he was supposed to tackle the issue of their respective relationship with Iwaizumi. _So, how was it like, dating my soulmate?_ didn't sound very adequate.) 

As he was walking by a square to go home, he heard a lot of noises coming from the sport field. A lot of people seemed to be there, probably playing any sport that required a lot of players, such as soccer or base-ball ― although the field wasn't really made for this last sport. He turned an interested look at it, and was ready to make a little detour to go take a look at what was happening, but changed his mind when he realized it was volleyball that they were playing. 

He used to love volleyball so much... Honestly, he still did. His heart was still a setter's one, and there wasn't a single moment where he didn't miss the feels he had while playing. However, each time he tried to return to a volleyball court, to toss to someone like he used to, he always ended up remembering Iwaizumi, how they used to train together sometimes, how he had died while Tobio was playing. Those memories always made him suffocated, and he didn't know how to cope with them. So, he preferred to run away from them. 

Sadly, as he was running away once again, an energetic voice called his name. 

“Hey! Kageyama!” 

His eyes widened as he recognized Hinata's voice. Why, from all the persons it could have been, it was him that was playing on this stupid field? He tried to act like he hadn't heard his name, but the other was incredibly fast, and ran in his direction. 

“Hello!” He greeted him again, still wearing this bright smile of his. 

“Hi.” Tobio answered simply. 

“I feel like we're always bumping into each other.” The shorter laughed.

“Theoretically, we haven't bumped into each other this time. You're the one who came.” 

“Don't start again.” Hinata rolled his eyes. 

“I'm speaking facts.” 

“Can't you just agree, for once?” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I don't want to?” 

“You're so annoying!” 

“Not as much as you.” 

They could continue for a long time, but Hinata finally gave up after finding himself out of arguments to give. He just crossed his arms on his chest, and looked at Tobio for a minute, before speaking again ― and changing the subject. 

“I saw you coming in our direction, and then changing your mind. Why?” Kageyama sighed; he didn't want to have this conversation with him. 

“Because I saw you.” The other sulked. 

“Mean! Tell me the real reason.” 

“Why should I?” 

“Why shouldn't you?” This conversation was leading nowhere, thought Tobio. 

“I need to go back to my house, I still have things to do.” 

“Don't you want to play with us?” Hinata caught him off-guard. “We need another player in our team.” He added next. 

“What makes you believe I know how to play?” The words were difficult to say, because he suddenly felt like he had a lump in his throat. 

“Uh...” Hinata avoided his look, and Tobio immediately understood why. 

“I don't play any more.” 

He had never taken the time to think a lot about it, but he always lived in the apprehensiveness, that some people in his college would know him for the reputation he had before, when he was still playing. Due to the fact he hadn't changed of region, it was highly predicable that it would turn out that way one day. But he had hoped that no one would ever come to him, and tell him _Hey, you're Tobio Kageyama right? The one they called King? Why don't you play any more? You have understood that everyone in your teams always hated you?_

“But...” Hinata tried to protest, but Kageyama cut him off. 

“I stopped playing. Forget about ever asking me again to play.” 

His tone was harsh, and he was conscious that he had probably hurt Hinata, but he didn't pay attention, and left the boy without adding anything. He needed to flee, as Hinata as his painful memories who tried to break his heart again.


	15. the truth he had hid for so long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more angst yay :)   
> (I'm not sorry btw)  
> it will soon be Hinata's turn to tell us what happened, but before that, let's focus a bit on his backstory :)

After leaving the square, Kageyama stopped for a second, but immediately regretted it. Because, unlike he was thinking, Hinata was running after him, and took this opportunity to join him again. 

“Kageyama, wait!” The taller rolled his eyes and grit his teeth. He really wanted to run away from the boy, but seeing his speed and determination, he was pretty sure it wasn't going to be possible. 

“I don't want to talk about it!” He yelled at this other, without looking at him. 

“But I do!” Hinata showed up in front of him, to make sure they had an eye contact.

“I'm the only one who can decide about that!” 

“No! I don't want you to misunderstand the situation!” The raven-haired boy sighed again. Why was the other so stubborn? Why couldn't he gave up? 

“There is no misunderstanding. Just forget about what you know okay?” 

“No!” 

Hinata crossed his arms on his chest and gave him a serious look Tobio had never seen on him. He seemed deadly serious about the subject, something Kageyama didn't really enjoy. (But he admitted he was rather surprised that the orange-haired boy was that much invested into the situation. If he was at his place, Tobio would have taken the opportunity of letting the subject go without making any more waves.) 

“You know...” When he spoke again, Hinata was hesitant. “We played against each other in middle school.” 

“... We did?” Honestly, Tobio didn't remember at all playing a match against this energetic boy. But he had played tons of matches during his middle school. Quick matches, like hard ones. 

“Yeah. I was sure you didn't remember.” The boy pouted. 

“When was it?” 

“During your last year at Kitagawa Daiichi. We played during a competition. You beat my team easily.” Tobio wasn't sure of what he was supposed to say after that ― honestly, he had guessed quickly that Hinata's team had not won over his, because he would have remembered the boy if it were the case. 

“And so?” His voice became sharper, as other memories started to come back to his mind. 

“You beat my team, because yours was stronger. _You_ were stronger than me. After that, I worked hard, because I was frustrated. Why had I lost against a stubborn and mean setter?” Tobio opened his mouth to contest the “mean” part (he knew he was stubborn, so he couldn't do anything for this part), but Hinata continued: “I worked hard, to became better. So that, one day, I would be able to defeat you. But in the end, we never played against each other. Our teams didn't play a match during our first year, and then...” 

Then, Iwaizumi had died. Then, he had stopped playing volley, because he couldn't handle his memories and emotions, too strong and too painful. It wasn't hard for him to guess that Hinata had been disappointed ― everyone was. The genius setter, born to make history, who stopped played completely... Maybe it was because of all of that in the end. Maybe it was because he couldn't bear their hopes, now that his romantic life was a complete failure, that he had stopped playing completely.

“Why do you tell me all of this?” 

He asked, on a low tone. It was a real question, although said on an aggressive voice. He wanted to understand the meaning of all of this. What was he supposed to say or do? Just because Hinata always wanted to play against him for three years didn't mean he was going to accept. 

“I haven't finish.” Hinata picked up again, on a determined tone. “When my team finally met Karasuno’s, it was during my second year. But you weren’t there, not even in the substitutes.” During a few seconds, Kageyama’s eyebrows furrowed at the thought of him not playing as a regular player. “After that, I learnt that you had stopped playing. But I never knew why.” 

“You don’t need to know.” Tobio’s voice was still sharp. “It’s no use now.” 

“Not for me!” The sudden exclamation caught him off-guard. “I know it’s indiscrete. I know I shouldn't be asking. And that’s why, even when we finally met, I never asked you about it. Since I noticed you once in the corridors, I want to talk to you and to know why you have stopped. But I stayed silent until now.” 

“So, you already knew about me when we met in the library? You planned to talk to me with your equations?” 

“Of course I didn't! I just took the opportunity. I thought Kenma was going to kill me, because he believed I was going to ask you all of a sudden why you quitted.” 

“He knows too?” 

Hinata crossed his arms on his chest again, and gave him a serious look ― again. It was still surprising for the raven-haired boy to see him acting all serious. 

“Kenma is a setter too. He doesn’t play a lot any more, but still. And you must know that every volleyball player of our generation knows about you.” Tobio stayed silent. He knew the other wasn't wrong. But now, it had been two years since he stopped playing entirely, so he believed that not much people still knew about him. 

“Okay, fine. And so? You had restrained yourself from asking me why I stopped for weeks, so why do you ask now?” 

“Because...” Hinata paused for a second, apparently in the middle of an important hesitation. “I feel like something isn't right.” Kageyama raised an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I had thousands of hypotheses about why you quitted. From the most realistic to the most fantasists. But, now that I’ve met you, I feel like none of them are right. Because I feel like you still want to play, in the deep of your heart.” 

“How could you know this better than me?” 

“It’s just... an intuition.” 

Tobio sighed. He was truly unable to understand how was the other functioning. Like, how was he supposed to know better than himself what he truly wanted? It was impossible, and he didn't like where this conversation was going. (If he had been completely honest, he would have admitted that it was true that, often, he missed playing. However, for now, he wasn't in the mood to recognize easily his wrongs.) 

“Listen...” He started to answer on a tone that was still blunt, but he tried to soften it. “I had my reasons to quit volleyball like I did. I understand it was sudden, but I needed to do it. And it’s better this way. I might have been a good player that people wanted to defeat, but this belongs to the past, and I don't wish to play again.” That was half-lie half-truth, but he just wanted Hinata to give up about this subject. 

“So... You won’t tell me why you stopped, right?” _He was really stubborn_ , sighed Tobio in his mind. Or too stupid to understand that he really wanted to stop the conversation. 

“It’s no use.” He cut, before trying to leave ― and, once again, Hinata caught him. 

“Even if I make you puppy eyes?” Tobio rolled his eyes. 

“Really? Can’t you just let me go?” 

“It worries me. It’s not just curiosity, I promise.” Hinata sounded so genuine that, for a second, Tobio considered telling him the truth. But, a short moment after, he knew he couldn't. He didn't want to explain again why he stopped. 

“Whatever it is, I won’t answer.” 

“Kageyama! Please!” 

More the time passed, more Tobio wanted to leave and to forget all this conversation. He wished to be able to teleport himself far away from this street, far away from Hinata. But he didn’t know how to make him understand that it was a taboo subject that shouldn’t be told out loud. He didn’t know... and didn’t found a solution. 

Hinata had caught him by his wrist, and he was feeling his tight-but-not-that-much seizure on it. Maybe it was why he finally muttered the truth. Perhaps it was because he was tired, perhaps it was because he wanted him to leave, perhaps it was because he wanted him to know. 

In the end, he was confused, and the secret was revealed. 

“I lost my soulmate. He died while I was playing.”


	16. the human-tangerine's soulmate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter one of my favorite boy is finally "appearing", please give him some love even if he's just mentionned and he seems like an idiot, he's one but I love him with all my heart.
> 
> (and I won't apologize for putting AtsuHina hints in this story, I love them as much as KageHina)
> 
> also, this chapter is one of my favorite because it explains a bit more the main questionning of this story with all the soulmate thing, and I loved writing it so I hope you'll enjoy it too!!

A silence welcomed his declaration. Tobio was still disturbed by the fact he had finally told Hinata his secret ― he wasn’t sure of why. He had never told anyone about it. All those who knew already were acquainted with him at the time of the accident. He regretted a bit saying it out of the blue. It was certain the other would be speechless after such a heavy revelation. 

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” Hinata spoke finally, on a voice so low that the black-haired boy wasn't sure to have heard right. The orange-haired's hand was still on Kageyama’s wrist, and he turned around to meet the blue eyes of his spokesperson. “How long has it been?” The question leaved Kageyama speechless. He hesitated to answer, but, now that he had said it out loud, it was useless to not explain everything, right? 

“Two years.” Hinata’s opened wide orange hues. “I’ve told you. It’s why I stopped.” 

“Me too.” The shorter’s voice was still very low, and Tobio froze when he perceived these words. “Me too, I lost my soulmate two years ago.” He gave him a sad smile. “We have now a new point in common. “ 

Tobio looked at him with wide eyes, trying to understand what meant Hinata. He had lost his soulmates two years ago, just like him? The black-haired boy had already guessed that Hinata’s relationship with his soulmate wasn’t simple ― the scars on his wrist was a hint about that ― but, as the soulmate word had not disappeared, he had thought that it wasn't similar to what he lived. (Well, he was the proof that a word could take time to disappear, but still, he hadn’t really considered the hypothesis). 

“Actually...” Hinata spoke again after a minute. “My soulmate isn’t dead. But we’re not together any more.” _Oh_ , was all what Kageyama could think. They were losing a similarity to find another. “It’s strange, isn’t it?” The orange-haired boy's voice was oddly cutting. “We were promised to each other at the second we took our first breath, but in the end, we will never end up together.” 

“Why not, if they’re still alive?” Kageyama knew he was being indiscrete, but Hinata had been too, earlier. 

“Because he’s dating someone else. And, he’s happy with him. So, why would I interfere? He would never forgive me if I did.” 

Tobio was more and more speechless. How could their situation be so similar? If the accident hadn’t happened two years ago, he would be in the same situation as the young man standing in front of him. Knowing his soulmate with someone else, but not being able to do anything to change it. 

“Do you still love him?” Asking such questions was making him a bit uncomfortable, but it seemed like Hinata’s curiosity had rubbed off on him. 

“No, not really. I’m just still disappointed it didn’t work between us. And you?” 

“... I don’t know.” 

It was the truth. Tobio never really asked himself about how he was feeling towards Iwaizumi. In every case, it was meaningless; Iwaizumi was dead, and didn’t love him any more before that, so his relationship was already condemned. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” The former setter raised an eyebrow at this question. 

“You already obtained the answer you wanted.” 

“Right, but I’m still curious. It wasn’t a morbid curiosity you know? I’m really interested in what happened.” 

“Why?” 

“Can’t I just be interested? There is no need for a specific reason.” Tobio wasn’t so sure about that, but gave up. 

“I don’t really want to talk about what happened.” 

“Fine. Do you want to know what happened between my soulmate and I?” The raven-haired boy rolled his eyes, while a part of him was wondering if the other absolutely wanted to continue their conversation. 

“Shouldn’t you get back on the court?” 

“They’ll be fine without me.” 

“So, you seriously prefer talking about a sad subject than playing a sport you like?” Hinata smiled to him and answered: 

“If it’s to you, yes.” 

Tobio felt flustered by the ambiguous answer. What was that supposed to mean? He didn't like this kind of unclear answers. But he didn't say anything, and just followed the boy while he was taking them back in the square, so they could sit down and talk calmly ― and not in the street as they used to do until now. 

“I don't understand how you work.” Tobio finally stated as they sat on an empty bench. 

“I don't know it's an insult or a compliment.” 

“Me neither.” The orange-haired boy sighed before starting his explanations: 

“So, my soulmate's name was ― no, is. He's still alive. His name's Atsumu. Maybe you've heard of him?” Atsumu... The name didn't remind him anything to the black-haired boy. “He's a volleyball player, that why I say that. But anyways, we were soulmates, we met during a match, and, you know how it goes, I think? You notice that you have the same word on your wrist and that it perfectly describes how you just met, and everything starts.” 

The simplistic explanation made Tobio smile ― just a little. It was a childish way of portraying soulmates' meetings, but it worked. The raven-haired boy could understand what he meant. Somehow, all soulmates' meetings looked like that. 

“So, we started dating, because of it and also because I kinda liked him. He was pretty, funny and good at volleyball. Everything was good.” 

“Everything’s always good when it starts.” Tobio sighed. 

“Exactly. Why didn't that last?” 

It was a very hard question, that no one could probably answer. All the good things in life always seemed to have a short lifespan, unlike the bad things. 

“Our relationship lasted a few months. But we didn't see each other much, because he was living far from here. So, in the end, he fell in love with someone else.” 

“So, he told you that you two couldn't continue together and broke up with you.” 

“Kinda. He waited before telling me.” 

“While dating the other?” 

“No, luckily, because the other didn't want this kind of relationship. He just didn't dare to tell me it was over, and his twin brother had to force him to.” 

“That's kinda lame.” Hinata laughed a bit at this obvious remark. 

“Yes. But I'm not mad at him for that. Atsumu's hesitation was right, because he didn't know how to break up with me without seeming like the worst person ever. And Osamu just wanted his brother to be happy ― or to stop pissing him off with his love stories...” He smiled again after ending his story, and Kageyama hesitated to ask the last question he had in mind. 

“If... If you're not mad at him, why did you cover your soulmate word?” 

Hinata stayed silent for a long minute, and Kageyama wondered if he had asked a taboo question. To him, it seemed relevant, because the orange-haired boy looked like he was fine despite the broke-up, but he couldn't forget the scars. 

“Well... Let's say that it was really disappointing still. What's the meaning of soulmates if our stories can end like that? Why do we have this word on our wrist if in the end, we’re not forced to love them? I was wondering that at that time. Still do to be honest.” 

Tobio thought about his words for a second. He wasn't wrong, honestly. The tradition of soulmates, in their society, was telling every child that, somewhere in the world, a person was made for them and just waiting to meet them. However, as Hinata as him were proves that it wasn't completely true: they had soulmates, but these soulmates ended up loving someone else. 

And it wasn't just because it wasn't the good one. Tobio knew Oikawa and Iwaizumi didn't have the same word on their wrist. He knew it didn't match their meeting. They weren't made for each other. They just fell in love. 

Was love a condemnable thing? He didn't think so. So, where was the problem in the end? The situation seemed complex and simple at the same time. If Tobio could resume it in a sentence, it would just be: love can't be predicted. 

But such a sentence was a terrible thought in their society. So he couldn't say it out loud, even if he knew Hinata was thinking the same (probably). 

“My soulmate fell in love with someone else too.” 

Tobio finally spoke, after a while. And just like that, he started telling Hinata all the things he never dared to say to anyone, about him, about Iwaizumi, about them.


	17. if you want to play, do it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, starting from this chapter, it's really useless to look up the similiarities with the first version because I completely CHANGED everything lmao  
> It wasn't what I planned but I like it better that way so let's say it's OK. 
> 
> I hope you'll like it too <3
> 
> (also I'm very sorry if my Kags looks out of character, I'm not used to write with him and I suddenly feel like he's acting so OOC ,,)

During the twenty minutes Tobio's story lasted, Hinata didn't say a word, which surprised the raven-haired boy a lot. Of course, since the beginning of their discussion, he had noticed that the boy was actually able to stay quiet for a while, and to be serious about important matters, but he was still surprised by it. In his mind, he was convinced that the orange-haired boy was unable to stay still for more than ten minutes. 

“So, we're really similar, aren't we?” Hinata smiled to him after Tobio arrived to the part where Iwaizumi and him had broken up. 

“Seems so.” 

“How did you react after that? If I may ask.” 

“I was confused. I thought it was my fault, I thought I wasn't good enough.” 

“Yeah, me too. Why do we always think that it's our fault, although we're not the one who fell in love with someone else?” 

“Because it looks like we're unable to be loved.” Kageyama's words were harsh, but they had a part of truth, he was sure Hinata could feel it. 

“That sucks.” 

“You're vulgar now?” 

“Kenma would kill me if he had heard that, but we won't tell him okay?” 

Tobio laughed a bit ― only a bit! ― while thinking that it looked like Kenma was the other’s mom. He knew exactly how it felt like through ― Sugawara was like that too. Every time Tanaka was saying a swear, it was the same thing: Sugawara was sending him a death glare and Daichi and Asahi had to restrain him from being mad at the poor wing spiker. 

(And, was it useful to mention the times when Tsukishima was acting like a dick with absolutely everyone?) 

“I'll tell him if you bother me too much.” 

“Mean!” 

“Do you want me to end my story or not?” 

“Yes! But you don't have to if it's too hard you know?” Tobio gave him a serious look. 

“That's what you say after almost forced me to explain what made me stop volleyball?” Hinata pouted a bit. 

“Yeah but... I didn't know it was because of a loss!” 

_You must have thought about it if you had imagined all the scenarios_ , thought the former setter, but he didn't say it out loud, knowing it was useless. 

“I... can talk about it.” 

Probably. In fact, he didn't really want to, but also felt a kind of obligation. Hinata had told him everything about what happened in his life, so he felt like it was normal to do the same. Plus, he oddly wanted to do it. He had hid it for so long, that he had forgotten how it felt to tell someone what happened. 

“I didn't see Iwaizumi much until Christmas Eve. We settled a rendezvous to see each other. But in the end, he had an accident while coming. A car accident.” Hinata stayed silent, but slowly came closer to him. Tobio usually hated proximity, but he didn't say anything. “We never met, and I couldn't tell him how much I missed him.” He muttered. It was unusual for him to be this honest about his feelings, but it seemed like he couldn't stop now that he had started telling everything he had in his heart. 

“It must have been difficult.” 

“Well. It was hard for everyone. He was very liked.” 

“And, how did react the one he was dating at that time?” 

“Bad. He knew Iwaizumi since they were six. He was as much his boyfriend as his closest friend.” Tobio had to admit it: Oikawa suffered as much as him. It was strange that he suddenly succeeded to recognize those same facts that blocked him before, now that Hinata was at his side. 

“I can't imagine how it feels to lose suddenly a person like that.” 

“Me neither. I don't even have someone like that.” Hinata giggled a little. 

“That's sad. You still have good friends, don't you?” 

The raven-haired boy took a second to think about that. Yes, he guessed his former teammates were good friends. After all, they had lived a lot of events together, as happy as sad. Wasn't it what good friends did? 

“I guess so.” 

“That's reassuring.” 

“Reassuring?” Tobio repeated, confused. 

“Yes! With your personality, I wasn't sure you had friends.” The former setter gave him a death look, and tried to hit him ― gently. He didn't want to pass for a jerk in the middle of a square. 

“Not everyone can be as social as you.” 

“And how would you know that I'm a social person?” Hinata teased him a little. 

“I looked at the pictures on your wall. I saw you with so many people that it wasn't hard to guess.” 

“Stalker!” 

“You're the one who allowed me to look at it!” The boy didn't answer immediately, apparently lost in his thoughts ― was he trying to remember which pictures were in his wall? 

“If you want, I can introduce you to my friends.” Tobio rolled his eyes. 

“Why would I want so?” 

“Because...” Hinata kept silence in a very dramatic way for a few seconds, before concluding: “They are the best friends in the Earth!” 

Tobio raised an eyebrow. Who didn't think the same about this own friends? Obviously, he could believe that they were good friends, probably, but the way Hinata presented it wasn't convincing enough for him. 

(But still... why not? He didn't dislike entirely the idea of meeting new people. He just hoped they wouldn't only be volleyball players who would know him for his past reputation.) 

“Why not.” He finally muttered, almost reluctantly. 

“Great! Why don't we start now?” The setter stayed speechless for a few minutes, before understanding what meant the boy. 

“You were playing with them?” 

“Some of them, yes. I asked you to join us, no?” 

“I told you I didn't want to play.” 

“And I'm telling you that you should try again. I'm sure you miss volleyball. I can see it. You were an amazing player, who loved playing. Even I was able to saw that. No matter how hard it can be, I know you'll be able to overcome it.” 

Wasn't Hinata's smile brighter than before? Every time he looked at it, Tobio had the strange feeling that the boy's smile was making his heart melt more than before. How was it possible? How could this tangerine boy be so radiant? 

He took a look at the hand the boy was handing to him. How many people had done the same before him? And how many of these kind hands had he rejected? A part of him wanted to do the same again, because he knew playing volleyball would be the worst idea ever. 

But the other part, stronger, was telling him that it was worth it. That he had hid for too long. 

So, he took this hand Hinata was handing, and let him lead him into the court, for the first time in three long years.


	18. the miraculous toss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao please be kind with me in the next chapter, I don't know how to write a volleyball match. I TRIED OKAY? I'm sorry if it's not concluding and if you end up wondering what you are reading ,,  
> BUT.  
> I'm excited to see your reactions about the end :)  
> (no trap here I promise)

_It's been a long time._

It was what Tobio was thinking, while warming up before entering on the court. Honestly, he had rarely felt that scared. He hated since he was a child to admit what scared him. He was always feeling weak when he thought that something was scaring him. And he hated feeling weak. 

But this, the idea of coming back on the court, was the scariest thing he had lived in a while. He was feeling uneasy, and was regretting so hard his decision of taking Hinata's hand. But, the other had no intention to let him escape now that he had said yes, so he couldn't go back. 

“Which position do you play at?” Kuroo asked him when he entered the “court" ― he was right the day he had supposed that this black-haired boy who was with Kenma was the “famous” Kuroo. 

“Setter.” 

“Ooh, like Kenma.” The other smirked. 

“Good.” The previously named said suddenly while coming in their direction. “Like that, I can go rest and play.” However, his friend? best friend? boyfriend? or whatever was Kuroo, caught him back by his collar ― just like a cat ― and prevented him from leaving. 

“Stay here, Kenma. We're going to make teams and play against each other. So we need two setters.” 

“Why couldn't Akaashi come today?” mumbled the bleached-hair boy in annoyance. 

“Well, it's thanks to his missing if Kageyama can play!” Hinata spoke suddenly ― Tobio hadn't even noticed him coming close to them. 

“But no one can toss as good as Akaashi!” 

The last statement was coming from Bokuto, a tall boy with bicolour hair spiked on his head. Tobio had seen him too on the shots in Hinata's living room; so he supposed that the “Akaashi” was the fourth unknown boy he had seen on it, with a neutral face. Hinata had introduced Bokuto and Kuroo as two good high school friends he used to play against during his matches. Now, they weren't studying in the same city any more ― the two boys were living in Tokyo, and were only here because they were already in holidays. 

Hinata explained to him that they had this habit of meeting once a month to practice together. Usually, it was Bokuto, Akaashi and Hinata against Kenma, Kuroo and Taketora ― one of Nishinoya's friend he had met once in the college. Nishinoya and Yaku were often here too, playing as liberos, but weren't present today due to an important assignment they needed to finish. Like Kenma had said before, Akaashi wasn't here either because of a personal obligation. 

Tobio was feeling a bit confused at all these new names and faces he wasn't sure to remember quickly, but he was fast to notice that some of these guys weren't just “friends”. Obviously, Bokuto was completely fond of his usual setter ― as stated by the amazing number of compliment he was able to said despite Akaashi's missing ― and he was pretty sure he had seen the same word on Kenma’s and Kuroo's wrists. 

However, he decided not to think too much about it in order to avoid his feared memories to come back. He needed to focus if he didn't want to break in front of all of these people. And, oddly, Hinata's presence seemed to help him to do so. Tobio was playing in the same team as him, in replacement of Akaashi, and would be the setter. He was a bit flustered and maybe stressed too. He hoped his skills, who used to be his pride when he was still playing, wouldn’t have disappeared. 

They were playing one set only, and the team who would lose had to buy dinner to the winners. From what he understood, it was usually Hinata’s team who won, but Kenma’s team had won sometimes too, especially during their last matches. And, as Akaashi weren’t here today, they looked very determinate to win. However... 

“We’re going to win this time again!” yelled Bokuto with an energy similar to Hinata’s. 

“Yes!” agreed the previously named with a huge smile. “Let’s do it, Kageyama!” The sparkles in his eyes showed to the black-haired boy how much he remembered how he used to play when he was still a setter, and he felt a huge wave of motivation overwhelmed him. 

“Let’s win.” 

His first toss ― the very first one since almost three years ― were muddled and unworthy of him, but Bokuto succeeded to hit it even so. The bicolour haired boy was very strong, noticed Tobio, and his spikes were hard to block. But in front of them, Kuroo was tall and apparently talented as a middle blocker. His team quickly started to lead the set, something Bokuto and Hinata didn’t like at all. 

“Stop smirking bro!” yelled once again Bokuto ― “bro” referring to Kuroo. 

“Sorry, bro, it’s just funny to imagine the amount of food I’m going to eat in revenge for the last time you won.” 

“We won’t lose!” Hinata retorted. 

Tobio didn’t say anything. He was feeling Kenma’s silent look on him. He was sure the boy was wondering if it was all he could do as a setter. _No, it’s not_ , he replied silently. _Be prepared._ He was entirely taken away by the adrenaline of the game, no thinking at all to Iwaizumi or to all the thoughts that usually overcame him when he was playing since his death. He was just... tossing. Like he used to do. 

Even though Kuroo’s team was leading from four points, he continued to toss like he could. He had noticed that Bokuto was strong when hitting the ball, and that Hinata was very, very fast. It was stunning to see how quick he could be. And his way of looking for the ball in every situation, even when it seemed out of reach, was truly impressive. Tobio was sure the boy could be a very strong player. 

He focused more and more, trying to find a way of tossing that would be perfect to pass Kuroo’s aggressive block. He was starting to find again his old habits of play, so he believed he was once again able to do some risky toss like he used to. These were the solution to exceed Kenma’s perceptiveness, and the stunning height achieved by the block. 

So, he tried a toss that no one would usually succeed to hit. 

Like one of these he used to do when he was still à Kitagawa Daiichi, and that no one ever wanted to hit because they were too hard to get. 

But, Hinata hit it. 

The ball passed so quickly on the other side of the net that no one could make a move. All the players ― including Kageyama and Hinata ― were speechless. The duo looked at each other slowly, trying to understand what they had just done. Tobio was amazed that the orange-haired boy had succeeded to hit this complicated toss the first time Tobio did it to him. 

Maybe it was why he lost his usual self-control, and pulled the shorter in a long kiss, right after this miraculous toss.


	19. Tobio's first Christmas present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved reading all your reactions about the kiss lmao  
> (and yes, I read the comment but didn't answer sorry, I had to finish two other texts for today so I was kinda busy, but I will answer to everyone later I promise!!)
> 
> anyways, I feel so scared bc starting to this chapter I lost Kageyama's control, he has started to do stupid things and I don't know how to stop him lmao  
> but I hope you'll enjoy!!

Tobio's mind went blank while he was kissing the other with a passion he didn't know he had in in. His whole spirit was fixed on the fact that he. Was. Kissing. Hinata. 

He was kissing Hinata. He was kissing someone else than Iwaizumi. And he was the one initiating it. These three thoughts were stuck in him, and he didn't know which one was the strongest. He was completely lost, but at the same time, he was unable to stop this kiss who pleased him as much as surprised him. 

On another hand, Hinata wasn't pushing him back. He was even deepening the kiss. They were stuck in a bubble that only belonged to them, and the fact that they were in the middle of a square, in the middle of a match, and probably watched by all Hinata's friends, didn't matter to them. It felt so meaningless when they were so close to each other, more than they had ever been. 

However, the pure joy Kageyama was feeling didn't last ― because if he had learn a thing since three years, it was that this kind of feelings never lasted ― and slowly started to realize what he was really doing. 

He pushed the shorter back; the orange-haired boy’s face was all red, and he seemed as confused as possible. They looked at each other for a very, very long time, without speaking a word. Hinata seemed not to know what to say; and, honestly, Kageyama was starting to get overwhelmed by his memories again, and didn't know how to stop this fatality to happen. 

“Wow. That was what I call a real kiss.” The sudden comment made them flinch, and Tobio turned a red face in Kuroo's direction. The tall boy was looking at them with a smirk, and seemed really amused by what had just happen. 

“It was disgusting.” Kenma mumbled. “Couldn't you wait before doing that?” 

“Kenma, that's not what you say when I...” 

Kuroo's sentence never got an end, as his probably soulmate stepped on his foot to prevent him from saying something eventually embarrassing. Luckily, Bokuto and Taketora seemed too shocked to add anything to these comments. 

“Uh... Kageyama you...” 

Hinata finally spoke, and the black-haired boy decided at the same time that he didn't want to hear what he was going to say; his mind was already repeating to him the same thought, apparently the strongest of the three that were in before: _You just kissed someone else than Iwaizumi. You kissed a boy that isn't your soulmate. Oh, and you kissed one of your only friends._

He was completely lost, seriously. He was standing on the court, in front of Hinata, but it was only physically; his whole mind was back three years ago, to the times when Iwaizumi was alive, when they were together, and happy. He had been the one initiating the kiss, the one who pulled the other in this long and intimate kiss, but he was actually completely out of his depth. Why had he done that? 

“Kageyama?” 

He had never imagined the idea of ending up with someone else than Iwaizumi. Right, the ace was dead, but he had been his soulmate, the only one made for him according to the tradition. Plus, his heart had been too broken to start loving again, that's what he was believing at least. So, no, he had never pictured himself with someone else. 

So, what had got into him? Why had he made this stupid act of kissing the other? Oh, sure, he had taken a lot of pleasure in it, but that wasn't the question! 

“Kageyama? Hello?” 

A hand appeared suddenly in his sight, and he suddenly remembered that he was still in public, and not alone in his flat where he could take all the time he needed to think about it. Hinata was looking at him with a huge confusion, and the other players seemed curious of what was going to happen now ― Kuroo had this displeasing little smirk, Kenma looked like he just wanted to leave, Taketora was looking at him with confusion too, and Bokuto had wide eyes, and seemed like he didn't understand a single thing in the situation. 

“...” Obviously, Tobio didn't know what to say. He was sure that everyone was waiting for him to explain a little what happened exactly, but his mind was too blank for that. “I'm sorry!” He suddenly yelled after a second, making all the other shuddered. “Please don't mind what I just did!” 

And, without letting anyone say anything, he casually ran away in the opposite direction, doing what he should have done since the start, instead of letting Hinata talk to him and convince him to go play. It was a mistake since the beginning; he should have refused, and just returned to his flat. It would have been better, and he wouldn't have made this stupid act of kissing Hinata! 

He ran to his building without slowing down even a little, to finally return to his flat, relieved to see neither Oikawa nor Sugawara nor Oikawa's sister in front of it. He really didn't need to see anyone now... 

“Hey! Tobio!” 

Dammit. He thought, rolling his eyes to the sky and cursing the gods for not listening to him even once. Why was there always someone near his flat? Was everybody knowing where he was leaving, or was he just cursed? He was almost inside the building, maybe he could pretend that he didn't hear anything and just enter... 

(He was so confused that he hadn't even notice that the unknown person had called him by his first name. What a terrible mistake.) 

“Tobio!” The second yell made him realize this fact, and he recognized at the same time the voice ― there weren't much person calling him by his first name: his parents, Oikawa, and... Miwa. “What kind of brother are you? Ignoring your own sister?” He turned his head to look at her, regretting to not have been able to recognize her sooner: 

“Hello. I didn't know you were here.” He tried to excuse himself and to run away, but that didn't really work. 

“From whom are you hiding?” She asked with suspicion. 

“You?” She hit him on the head. 

“Don’t you dare. I wanted to surprise you. But now...” She gave him an innocent smile. “You're going to tell me everything. I'm your big sister after all!” Now, Tobio was the one looking at her with suspicion. 

“Why?” 

“Why what?” 

“Cut the crap. What do you want? You never help me without any compensation.” 

“Oh, come on. I'm not that bad as a big sister. It's almost Christmas. Consider this as my present!” 

A little silence followed this declaration; then, Kageyama opened the door and let her enter his building. But before... 

“It’s because you don't have any present idea for me right?” 

“Don't ruin the moment, Tobio.” 

“... Yeah, right.”


	20. Big sister's advices are the best advices (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did want to name this chapter 'Kageyama's siblings supremacy' but I restrained myself from doing it lmao it would not be very professional and representative of the actual chapter XD   
> (just like the actual one was more representative huum)
> 
> anyways watch me making this situation more and more complicated despite the fact there isn't many chapters left- I'm really impossible- (sigh)

“You know, Tobio, I think you're fucking dumb.” The previously named furrowed his eyebrows and looked at his sister with annoyance. 

“I'm not!” 

“Yes you are! Why are you making a simple situation so complicated?” 

“But it's not a simple situation!” The older looked at her brother with a visible judgement. 

“Let me resume. You lost your soulmate three years ago. Now you fall in love with someone else who's in the same case as you. Where is the complication?” 

“But we're not soulmates!” 

“So what?” 

Miwa crossed her arms on her chest, and looked carefully at him. Her blue eyes were filled with annoyance and affection, as usual, and she seemed to care a lot about the conversation they were having ― a conversation he never imagined they would have together. 

“Listen, Tobio. Who cares about the fact that this boy isn't your soulmate? You both don’t have one any more. So, it's a better thing if you can still be happy.” 

“But his soulmate isn't dead.” 

“And so? They broke up, and his soulmate is happy with someone else.” 

“But Iwaizumi's dead. I can't do that to him.” 

“Of course you can!” She rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry to say that, but even if Iwaizumi was still alive, you two wouldn't be together any more. So, the situation would be exactly the same, and he would be happy to hear that you’re in love with someone else.” 

“I'm not.” 

Tobio tried to protest, but he admitted that it probably wasn't very convincing. He had explained to his sister before how he just had kissed the boy for no reason, so pretending that there was nothing between them seemed suddenly very ridiculous. But at the same time... Admitting, even in his mind, that he might be in love with Hinata was scary. 

“Don't act like that, Tobio.” Miwa gave him a little hit on his head. “You're in love with this boy, don't deny it. And it's alright. It's not a problem.” 

The former setter looked at her, without saying anything. He wasn't sure to be able to accept that easily what his sister was saying. Was it really alright? Was there really no problem with him forgetting, even a little, that Hinata and him weren't soulmates, that they were already linked to someone else? 

“Say, Miwa.” 

“What?” 

“Have you meet your soulmate, finally?” His sister always complained that, despite the fact she was twenty-five, she had no clue of who her soulmate was. Oddly, she seemed to be very good at giving advice about it even though. 

“No. That's why I’m jealous of you!” She teased him. “You're younger, and you've met your soulmate and fall in love with someone twice. Life is unfair.” He raised an eyebrow. 

“There's nothing to be jealous about. Plus, you don't need a soulmate to be happy, right? You're more independent than that.” Miwa gave him a strange look, making him thought that he had said something incredibly stupid. But then, she smiled a bit and replied: 

“You're right. I'm a strong woman!” 

But even if she said so, when she left to go greet their parents, he saw her giving a sad look on the camellias planted in front of his building. He knew it was the word written on her wrist, the symbol of her meeting with her soulmate. However, no matter as much she tried to force the fate's hand by going to every place with camellias she could find, it stayed vain. 

The following days, no matter the conversation they had, Tobio didn't do much. He kept hesitating between talking to Hinata about what happened, or ignoring him ― something he was pretty good at doing. Plus, there were the problem of his meeting with Oikawa. The first, who was supposed to take place on December, 18th had been delayed due to some issues the black-haired boy hadn't been advised of, but the new date was settled for the day before the beginning of Christmas festivities, which meant the 23rd. It wasn't far away now that they were on the 21st of December, and he was already starting once again to regret having said yes. 

In the end, Hinata did the first step before Tobio could decide what to do. 

After their kiss, they hadn't seen each other at all: Tobio avoided the orange-haired boy thanks to his knowledge of his planning to avoid a complicated confrontation. He was also a bit annoyed by his own attitude, because he knew the winter break was coming after December, 25th, which would mean he wasn't going to see the boy for ten complete days after that. He knew he needed to decide what to do before that. 

However, finally, while he was still wondering what to do, the other came to talk to him. Tobio was at the library to give back the books he had finish reading, exceptionally here despite the fact he hadn't class at all; and Hinata was looking for Kenma, once again rolled into a ball to play in a warm place. 

“There you are!” The sudden yell of the tangerine-boy made them be fired of the library quickly, but it was too late for Tobio who couldn't escape his comrade any more. “Why were you avoiding me?” 

“I wasn’t.” Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, right. Why are you acting so strange all of a sudden?” 

“I...” 

He didn't finish his sentence. He didn't know what to say. Hinata was acting like everything was normal between them. Was it because he decided that it would be too awkward to bring the subject back because he wasn't feeling the same at all? What it because he wanted this event to disappear of his mind? 

“Have you lost your tongue, Kageyama?” 

“No.” 

“Then, why do you stay silent?” 

“Because I want to?” Hinata rolled his eyes. 

“Listen. I’m already late for my class, so I won't force you to talk now. But instead...” He gave him a smile as bright as scary. “Come with me to the Christmas Party tomorrow evening.” 

Tobio opened his mouth to protest ― there was no way he was going to go to this stupid party! ― but Hinata left so quickly he couldn't say anything. The black-haired boy was speechless. Why? What? What was Hinata’s idea behind that? 

While he was staying stuck on place with these thoughts, Kenma passed in front of him to go to his class probably, and mumbled: 

“Good luck.”


	21. sometimes it's better to stay home than to go to a party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send help I'm losing the control as always  
> and Hinata's driving Kags crazy, but this is funny to write so it's not a problem lmao
> 
> hope you'll like this chapter!!

“Look, that’s Kageyama!” 

“Who?” 

“You know, the guy who never talk to anyone in class! He’s here!” 

“Seriously? Where?” 

“Back there, against the wall!” 

“Do you think he came alone?” 

“That wouldn’t be surprising... He seems to be so nasty!” 

“Hey, he heard you! Now he’s giving us a death glare, he’s scary.” 

Of course, Tobio had heard them, they were practically screaming into the hall. He wasn’t deaf, nor naïve. He was sure everyone was going to talk about the fact that him, the asocial mathematics student, had come to the Christmas party organized by the Students’ Council. 

Honestly, he was regretting so much that he wasn’t even angry at these remarks. He should have said no. He should have hid himself earlier, instead of acting like usual, without imagining that Hinata was really determined to bring him to this party. So determined, that he had required the help of his other friends to make sure Tobio wouldn’t be able to escape.

(Saying it that way was making it sounds creepier than it really was, but he had this impression when he tried to walk out of the college and found in front of the entrance Kuroo and Bokuto smiling at him in a scary way. He should have run immediately, instead of hesitating a few seconds.) 

Plus, Hinata wasn’t even here yet. Maybe that was this last detail which was making him regret that much. He looked so stupid, alone in this huge ballroom the Council had reserved, in a suit Kuroo and Bokuto had given to him ― once again, it looked like he was kidnapped by the two boys, but it wasn’t that bad. Probably. The two students just made sure he wouldn’t be able to run away once again. 

At least, he thought, they hadn’t teased him much about the kiss he gave to Hinata the other day. He was sure they were very curious of what had happened and what it meant ― he could guess it only by looking at Kuroo’s smirk ― but they seemed to have the gentleness to stay silent for now. 

“Why do you look like you want to kill either yourself either someone in this room?” Kenma was suddenly at his side, and spoke on an indifferent tone. 

“Because I hate being here?” 

“You agreed.” 

“No, I didn’t. Hinata didn’t let me a chance to say anything!” 

“Right, but you’re still here.” 

“Your friends came for me at the entrance of the college.” 

“You could have left. They wouldn’t have hurt you or anything if you had tried to. They’re not kidnappers. Even if they can look like that.” He added the last sentence with a little smile ― probably unconscious. 

“We’re just kind.” Kuroo’s voice resonated behind them, as he joined them too. 

“Yeah, right.” 

The tall black-haired boy sulked at his boyfriend’s retort ― because yes, Kageyama had the confirmation that these two were together thanks to the kiss they had exchanged before entering the ballroom, when Kenma tried to change his mind and leave the party before it even started. Kuroo and Bokuto were only able to come to the party because they were “escorted” by them as their partners ― officially only of course, because Tobio's partner was supposed to be Hinata, not Bokuto. But, honestly, no one was really paying attention to who was a student at their college and who wasn’t. 

“So, where’s Hinata?” Tobio finally asked, because he really wanted to know if he was going to look stupid during the whole evening or not. 

“He’ll be here soon. He had an unexpected issue with his sister. He needed to bring her back home, or I don’t know what.” Kuroo answered with his usual smirk. 

“He can’t be punctual.” mumbled Kenma. “It’s too difficult for him.” 

“Probably. But don’t worry, Kageyama, we’re here to keep you company!” 

“And what if I don’t want your company?” 

“People will keep talking about you, and spreading rumours about how lame you look alone in this party.” The former setter rolled his eyes with annoyance. Sadly, Kuroo was right. 

“I guess I have no choice.” 

“Don’t worry, I have a super occupation for us.” 

“Now that doesn’t sound reassuring.” Kenma looked like he really wanted to leave ― and return to his dear console probably left alone in his house. 

“Don’t say that, Kenma! I just propose that we stay here, and make assumptions on all the other attenders.” 

“What are we, sixth-form students?” 

Tobio wanted to agree with the bleached-hair boy but, honestly, he was already doing that before the couple arrives. Usually, he didn’t pay any attention to the others, but he had to look at them to show them he was listening to their critics and scare them. 

He didn’t know much person here, in the ballroom reserved by the Student’s Council. He had seen Nishinoya and Asahi earlier, when he arrived, and he had also noticed their two friends, Yaku and Taketora. The four of them was out of his vision now. Apart from them, he didn’t know the other attenders. Kuroo neither obviously, and it seemed like Kenma didn’t recognize anyone too, but the tall boy started to criticize absolutely everyone ― of course he was doing it to pass time and probably with no terribly mean intention behind (at least, Tobio hoped so). 

“It would be funnier if I actually knew them.” The rooster complained after a few minutes.

“Then, go talk to them.” Kenma retorted. “But give me my PSP back before.” Kuroo’s smirk became larger, and Tobio understood now why the bleached-hair boy was still here. 

“No. If I do, you’re going to leave me all alone here, and I’m going to feel sad!” 

“Good.” 

Tobio smiled a bit while hearing the sharp responses of the boy, and the sulk of his soulmate. If he hadn’t seen them kiss, he wouldn’t have guessed they were really together. It seemed to be an amazing love-hate relationship. 

“Great, you’re still here!” Hinata’s voice suddenly resonated, and the three boys turned around to see the orange-haired boy who had finally arrived. 

“Of course, we are. You’re the one we were waiting for.” teased Kuroo. Then, he gave a suggestive look to his boyfriend at his side, and the bleached-hair sighed before saying: 

“We let you two together. Try to not stand out too much.” 

They left on these words, despite the fact Tobio really wanted them to stay. He didn’t know what to say to his partner now that they were alone together. He took a quick look to the boy, focusing on what he was wearing. Just as him, Hinata had chosen a “formal-but-not-too-much" outfit, with a simple suit. Tobio noticed also that, unlike usual, his two wrists weren’t covered with leaves and perfectly visible ― including the one covered with stitches. 

_Why?_ He thought, without daring to ask. 

Without paying attention to his confusion, Hinata smiled to him and waved at the crowd. 

“Why don’t we go have fun?” 

“Shall we really?” 

“Of course! We’re here for that, aren’t we?” 

Were they? Tobio wondered while sighing and following the boy. He wasn’t sure of where this evening was leading him, but it was too late to come back... right?


	22. but sometimes it's better to go to a party than to stay home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I didn't know where this chapter was going lmao  
> It serves more as an introduction for the last one tbh, but well we always need an introduction for the end XD  
> (I don't make any sense tho)
> 
> also, happy birthday to our Kageyama!! when I wrote the first version, I totally forgot that his birthday was in December, what a terrible mistake-

“For the last time, no, I won't smile.” Tobio mumbled to his partner, who just sulked at this answer. 

“You look like you don't want to be here if you don't!” 

_Maybe because I don't_. Tobio completed in his head only, because he didn't want to break all Hinata's hopes with his negativisms. He was trying to enjoy the situation, but honestly, it was rather difficult. He was at a party with a majority of people he didn't even know, accompanied by someone he liked, but who wasn't his soulmate, and that he had kissed without a warning before running away. What a great way to spend his birthday. 

“I can't smile just because you ask me to.” 

“Now that I think about it, I almost never saw you smile. Maybe you're just unable to smile?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

Tobio rolled his eyes, what was he supposed to answer? He smiled. Sometimes. When the situation allowed it. Okay, it was probably rare, but he knew how to. He was sure he had smiled a few times before. 

“So, what are you doing for Christmas?” 

“Probably nothing.” 

“What? Really?” 

“We're not even Christians.” 

“Yes, but still. It's a good opportunity to see your friends and family.” Tobio shrugged. 

“I can do that every day.” 

The real reason was obviously that Christmas reminded him of bad memories, but he didn't feel like telling it to his partner. He had already told him a lot of things about what happened between him and Iwaizumi. And, he knew saying such sad things was only going to destroy the peaceful and festive atmosphere around them. It was his birthday (even if he hadn't told anyone about it) and he kind of wanted to spend a good time despite everything. 

“I'm going to see my soulmate's ex tomorrow.” He finally said. _You don't want to tell him that Iwaizumi died on Christmas Eve, but you can tell him that you're going to see Oikawa? Very logical, Tobio,_ he thought with annoyance. 

“What for?” 

“To talk about my soulmate. It's his sister's idea.” 

“I haven't been obligated to do the same for my soulmate, but it's probably best.” Hinata finally said. 

“You never knew his new boyfriend right?” 

“No! Atsumu never really told me about. But it's probably because I never asked. I don't especially want to know.” 

Tobio guessed it was best yeah. Like that, he couldn't hate anyone who probably didn't deserve it, and wasn't able to compare himself to this new love. Tobio, him, had a long phase where he could only think at all Oikawa had, and him hadn't. 

“So, you’re seeing him tomorrow. But you don't do anything for Christmas.” 

“Yes. And you?” He tried changing the subject. 

“I was supposed to go to Kuroo's party. But in general, I just get bored, so I'm looking for another idea.” Was it a subtle way to propose to him to do something on Christmas, just the two of them? Tobio was slightly speechless. 

“Then you can come to our party!” 

Tobio and Hinata turned suddenly their heads to see who had just talk ― Tobio had recognized the voice, but he couldn't believe it was him. Therefore, Sugawara was really standing in front of them, an innocent smile on his face. 

“Hello both of you!” Nishinoya and Asahi were behind him, and Tobio even recognized Daichi, Suga's soulmate. 

“Sugawara?” Tobio greeted him ― kind of ― with surprise. 

“Hello Kageyama. Oh, and happy birthday.”

“It's your birthday?” Hinata looked at Tobio with wide eyes, and he mumbled a positive answer. "Why didn't you tell me?"

“Because it's no big deal?”

“Not for me!” They looked at each other for a second, the two of them slightly blushing while realizing what it could possibly mean, under Sugawara's curious and amused look. The grey-haired boy spoke after this second, to the orange-haired boy: 

"Hinata right? Nice to meet you. Noya had told me a lot about you.” 

“Hello?” Hinata seemed suddenly a bit confused. 

“I'm Sugawara. I played in Karasuno's team before.” 

“Yes, I know who you are.” Sugawara’s eyes shined a little when he heard that. 

“I see you're interested in volleyball too. I like you.” 

Tobio rolled his eyes. His senior was sounding like a proud mom who just met his child's significant other. (Once again, he blushed slightly after this thought, when he realized what this could mean.) 

“You're hosting a Christmas party?” He asked next, trying to get this stupid thought out of his head. 

“Yes. And you're coming.” Why was Tobio even surprised? It was so Sugawara like. 

“Since when?” 

“Since I decided so. And you can come too, Hinata. I would be pleased to get to know you better.” _Someone, kill me._

“Hum... I don't want to disturb you...” 

“You won't!” Nishinoya shouted suddenly. “We're not going to be a lot, but it's going to be cool!” 

Hinata seemed to think about it for a second, before looking in Tobio's direction. They both looked at each other for a long time, before the orange-haired boy spoke: 

“Would you mind if I come?” Tobio opened his mouth, taken aback by the sudden ask. He didn't think that the boy would ask him for any kind of permission. 

“You can come.” He finally answered, and it was genuine. 

Hinata offered him a bright smile, and Tobio felt all the looks of the other on him. He was sure all his former teammates ― and Nishinoya ― were observing them, trying to get what was going on between them ― if only Tobio knew. 

The only thing he was sure of, was that he really, really loved that smile. And the fact that he was suddenly feeling more motivated to talk to Oikawa, now that he knew he was going to see Hinata after. And also that he started liking this party better. 

(He was really impossible to understand, yes.)


	23. the two kings of the court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably one of my favorite chapter <3  
> I loved writing this conversation they never had, despite its importance. And well, I had a lot of fun writing Oikawa, who's one of my favorite characters ever <3 
> 
> once again, I hope you'll like this chapter <3

Less than twenty-four hours later, Tobio was regretting once again all his previous decisions. How could he have been motivated to talk to Oikawa? Now that he was standing in front of the boy's house, he was surely stuck in the middle of a huge existential questioning. It was a bad idea; but, whatever, the door was already opening itself to let him enter. It was Miyuko who had opened it, he discovered it after entering the big house. The woman greeted him with a smile ― which made him realized that she had the exact same smile as her brother, but less irritating ― before showing him the future crime scene ― hum, the living room. 

“I see you're as impatient as him.” Miyuko said those words on a neutral voice, but Tobio felt a hint of sarcasm behind it. 

“I guess so.” If he could have been anywhere else, he wouldn't be here, that was sure. But it needed to be done, right? They needed to have this talk. 

“Tooru!” She yelled while entering the living room. “If you have left this piece, I swear I'm going to hit you.” 

“I haven't.” Oikawa's annoyed voice answered immediately. “Where would I go? We're living in the same house.” 

“You would be capable of.”

Tobio followed her in the piece, and immediately met Oikawa’s eyes when he entered. His senior was sitting on the left side of a long table covered with flowers in the middle, and furrowed his eyebrows when he saw him. In a way, it was comforting for the black-haired boy to see him as much annoyed as him by the talk upcoming. 

“Hello, Tobio.” The previously named winced a bit, hearing the singsong way Oikawa had always said his name. 

“Hello, Oikawa.” He answered, before sitting on the chair Miyuko showed him, just in front of the former Seijoh's captain. 

“Great. Now talk.” She said on a triumphant tone which made her brother rolled his eyes.

“No.” He answered. She raised an eyebrow. 

“No?” 

“Yes, no. Stop putting your nose into my business, Miyu. I can take care of that myself.” Tobio thought Miyuko was going to protest loudly against her brother’s rude words, but oddly, she just smiled widely and left the piece without saying anything. _Okay...?_

“Well, now that it's just the two of us, I feel less observed.” Oikawa spoke again after a minute. Tobio was a bit confused. “So. Miyuko wants us to talk about Iwa.” The familiar nickname that no one ever used except Oikawa ― he was the only one allowed to ― made Tobio flinched a bit. 

“Yes.” He managed to answer. 

“We're not going to talk a lot if you speak that much.” 

Tobio was disturbed by his spokesperson attitude. He was acting as usual ― and by usual, he meant as before the accident. The only few times they had spoken since Iwaizumi's death, Oikawa wasn't acting like that at all. 

“What should we say?” He finally managed to mumble. 

“Are you mad at me?” Oikawa's tone was low and suddenly serious. His junior took a minute to think about it, before answering:

“No.” 

It was the truth. It was meaningless to be mad at Oikawa, he knew it. It would be a lie to say that it was completely ready to act all friendly with the brunet, but he wasn't mad either. It was just complicated for him to face this boy he admired but despised at the same time, the boy who took his soulmate away from him. 

“Oh.” was all Oikawa answered. 

“And you?” 

“Me?” 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Well, I am.” The honest answer made Tobio raised his eyebrows. Well, at least, it was said but... “I am mad because you're still this annoying little Tobio who's a genius as much as he is a complete idiot.” Tobio sighed. 

“I mean, mad at me because Iwaizumi had a meeting with me.” Oikawa winced. 

“And what? You think you're responsible for his death?” 

The black-haired boy was speechless for a second. He wanted to protest but, actually, it wasn't a false hypothesis. He had never considered himself as a direct “responsible” for what happened, but it was a fact that, if Iwaizumi didn't go to their meeting, the accident wouldn't have happened. If Tobio hadn't asked the boy to come see him... 

“Don't.” Oikawa's voice was sharp, and he cut strongly Tobio's thoughts. “Don't make yourself more important than you are. You're not responsible for what happened. The only one who is, it's this shitty driver who wasn't able to look in front of him.” The former setter could feel all the venom in the brunet’s voice. He could feel how much he blamed this driver who didn't see the colour of the traffic light, and provoked this accident who had broke the both of them. 

“Okay.” was all he managed to answer. Oikawa sighed a bit, before adding:

“Great. It would really get on my nerves if you believed you were the responsible. And Iwa would have yelled at you in heaven.”

Tobio didn't say anything, and just looked with attention to the boy in front of him. He was trying to understand how was the other functioning. He seemed to talk freely about Iwaizumi's death, like it was no big deal, but at the same time, it was probably a very sensitive matter, wasn't it? 

“Why are you looking at me like that? I know I'm still handsome, but it's making me uncomfortable.” The raven-haired boy rolled his eyes. 

“I'm just wondering how you overcame it.” This time, there weren't any bad intentions in his voice. 

“I haven't.” Oikawa's answer was genuine. “But we have to try. And, well, I have a tip for you.” He gave him a little and somehow affectionate smile. “Try imagining how Iwa would react if he was seeing us right now. If you knew him as much as me, you must know he would be yelling at us and hitting us.”

“He never hit me.” 

“Yes, you were always his favourite.” Oikawa’s voice was almost kind and teasing. “He never threw you outside a gym by the window.”

“... because he did to you?” 

“Long story, Tobio.” 

But then, he started explaining to him. And they talked a lot, but not about their respective relationship with Iwaizumi. They talked about their common memories, only happy ones. They left the pain and regrets behind them, to focus on the good things that had happened.


	24. I'm in love with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay lmao this chapter is kinda bitter-sweeter, I'm sorry for ruining the Christmas mood-  
> but I promise it ends well, just like the rest of the story tomorrow <3
> 
> plz once again stan Oikawa with all your heart and enjoy your reading!!  
> also, I wish you a very pleasant Christmas Eve!! Depending of where you are, you may not be able to celebrate it with your family, but I hope you'll still spend a good day, no matter what can happen in the world rn <3

“Is it really okay with you?” Miyuko gave a suspicious look to her brother while walking with him and Tobio in the city.

“Of course it is. Why are you so negative?”

“I am not negative. I'm trying to understand how you went from “Tobio’s annoying me” to “We're partners in crime”.” Oikawa had a little teasing laugh to this remark.

“’Partners in crime?’ Really?”

“You got the idea.”

“We just called a temporary truce.”

“Temporary?” Tobio and Miyuko spoke together, and shared a look after that, while Oikawa was pouting:

“Yes, temporary. Because I still consider you as a rival, Tobio!”

The former setter raised an eyebrow. Really? Well, it was true that a part of him still considered Oikawa as a senior he wanted to overcome, but since he wasn't playing volleyball, he had left this idea in a corner of his mind and didn't think much about it. Honestly, he didn't know at all what had achieved the brunet these past years in terms of volley.

“You know I don't play any more?” He finally asked.

“You played a few days ago.” Tobio stopped suddenly and gave Oikawa a surprised look.

“How do you know?”

“He's a stalker.” Miyuko whispered.

“I am not! Kuroo told me.”

“You know Kuroo?”

“Yes. He's a comrade of a friend of one of the comrades of one of my friends at the college. We talk together sometimes, and I often go to his Christmas party.” These last words made Tobio stop suddenly again. Then it meant...

“So, you know Hinata?”

The orange-haired boy had mentioned that he usually went to Kuroo's party, so if Oikawa did too, it meant that the two of us could possibly know each other... But at the same time, he had mentioned Oikawa's name a few time while talking with Hinata, and the boy hadn't said anything about it, so he wasn't sure.

“Hinata?” Oikawa repeated while giving him a curious look. “Who's that?”

“One of Kuroo's friends. He's short, with orange hair.”

“Oh, you mean Shôyô?” Oddly, Tobio winced at the employment of the first name, and his senior probably didn't miss it because he smiled with amusement.

“You call him by his first name?” It sounded more aggressive than wanted, and even Miyuko gave him a quick look.

“Don't be jealous, it's just that everyone calls him like that. I've never heard anyone called him Hinata.” Now that he mentioned it, it was true that all Hinata's friends Tobio knew always called him ‘Shôyô’. But himself had always called him Hinata. And the orange-haired boy had never told him to do otherwise.

“Hum. So, you do know him?” He changed the subject.

“Yes, I could recognize him in the street, but I don't know him much, we never really talked. How come you know him, you?”

“He's in my college. We're kinda friends.”

He couldn't manage to get himself saying anything else. Hinata was a lot of other things to him, but he didn't succeed to say anything. He couldn't find the right words. So, he just followed Oikawa as he was leading them to the cemetery there were going to. It was Oikawa’s idea to go to Iwaizumi’s grave, as it would be the third anniversary of his death the day after.

Tobio never went on his soulmate’s grave since the funeral. He didn’t dare to, knowing perfectly that it was going to be difficult and that he would probably not be able to cope up with the memories and the feelings. But these days, he had talked a lot about what had happened to Iwaizumi, and he had this odd thought that, maybe, he was ready to go on his grave.

(Well, honestly, he was regretting a bit. What if it was still too soon? What if in the end he just ended up running away from the two Oikawa― it wouldn’t be the first time but still...)

Oikawa led them both in the cemetery. Tobio could tell that he often came, at least more often than him ― but that wasn’t really difficult. The former setter was a bit anxious while coming in front of the tomb. He read slowly the words marked on it, Hajime Iwaizumi, before taking a look at the flowers in front of it. It was obvious that the death commemoration was soon: a lot of sprays of flowers was there, and Oikawa almost had difficulties putting their own spray on it.

“A lot of people had already come.” Miyuko whispered while following his look.

“I guess a lot of people hadn’t forgotten, just like us.”

Her brother answered, during Tobio was reading the few messages he could see in the sprays. _We miss you. We hope you’re happy, wherever you are._ He was sure all those messages came from people he knew before. Iwaizumi’s (and Oikawa’s) former teammates, but also friends he had outside the volleyball. Iwaizumi was very appreciated, even if he barely noticed it. He always thought that everyone was liking him because he was Oikawa’s best friend, but Tobio knew that it wasn’t just for that.

Iwaizumi was always ready to help, always there when he was needed. He was a senior who gave advices to his juniors, and everyone knew that, despite the fact he was always mocking Oikawa, he would have hit anyone else who would do the same ― except for Hanamaki and Matsukawa probably. He was a friend good at school who explained very well the classes, and the first one to organize reviews at his own house. He didn’t realize it, but he was liked for who he was, and not only because he was the boy always standing near Oikawa.

“Sometimes I wonder if he would be proud of what we achieved.”

Oikawa whispered after a long and respectful silent. Tobio wasn’t sure to whom the we was referring, but he nodded silently. He did wonder that too, and he realized just after that, from all the things he wanted to be able to ask his soulmate about, one seemed suddenly more important.

_Can I love someone else than you?_

If Iwaizumi had been still alive, he would probably have asked him that. Because he was sure that he wouldn’t have been easier for him to overcome the break-up even if he hadn’t died. He regretted not being able to know the answer Iwaizumi would have gave him. But, when he thought about it, somehow, it seemed obvious.

“Hinata’s not my friend.” He finally spoke, attracting to himself the curious looks of the Oikawa. “I’m in love with him.” He added next.

He didn’t give a lot of attention to what came next, because he was too busy realizing what he had finally admitted out loud, but he was sure of one thing: Oikawa’s laugh right after this declaration was the most genuine he had ever heard from him.


	25. two souls (in love) under the same snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this note is going to be a bit long I'm sorry! you can easily skip it lmao, it's just me ranting about things.
> 
> first, I would like to wish you all a merry christmas, or at least a very good day if you don't celebrate it! I hope you'll spend a happy day, with or without your family and that you'll stay safe!! (most important point rn) 
> 
> second point: I want to thank all of you for reading this story!! this chapter is the last one and there won't be a following story, so it's really the final today. Writing and publishing in English was a real challenge for me, and I'm very glad I finally get to do it. You were a lot to read this story (can't believe all the comments, kudos and hits I got omg) and I'm soo grateful for that. Once again, THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH <3 
> 
> I'll put in the end some notes about the future of some characters, but you're free to imagine whatever you want.  
> Enjoy this end!! <3

_I'm in love with him._

These words hadn't left Tobio's mind when he entered Sugawara's flat, where the party was held. He looked like a young girl who had just fallen in love for the first time ever, despite the fact Hinata wasn't even his first love. But the strange feeling he had in his heart was the same as the one he had before, with Iwaizumi. 

_It's so cringe_ , he complained in his mind. It didn't look like him at all, having those cheesy thoughts. But for once, he tried to be honest with his feelings. He searched Hinata in the living room ― who looked like a gigantic dance floor at the moment ― but wasn't able to find him in the crowd. Once again, as well as during the Christmas party, he was feeling uneasy, like it wasn't his place. However, they were more people he knew in this piece than in the ballroom. 

“Kageyama!” Sugawara greeted him with a big smile on his face. 

“Glad you came.” Daichi added behind him. “You look well.” 

“You look well too.” He answered. He was happy to see his seniors in a good mood. “Have you seen Hinata?” He asked after a second. The two of them shared an amused look before Sugawara answered:

“He's outside. He said he needed some fresh air.”

“Is it been a long time since he came?” Tobio wasn't especially late, so he was surprised to hear that the boy had already arrived, and that he needed to go outside to breath that soon.

“No, but he looked a bit confused when he arrived. I asked him if he was okay, and he told me that he was, but he didn't seem so.”

Daichi's answer made Tobio furrow his eyebrows. Did something happen? He hoped the boy didn't realize suddenly that he would have preferred coming to Kuroo's party instead of Suga's. He really needed to talk to him. 

“Maybe you should go see him.” 

Sugawara winked in his direction. Tobio decided to ignore the implied in the grey haired boy's voice, and nodded before looking for the balcony door. He found it near two people he knew, who quickly greeted him ― or, more specifically, one of them greeted him while the other was pretending he hadn't seen him. 

He quickly passed around Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, nodding in the green-haired boy direction but ignoring the blonde boy. He knew they would just end up arguing with each other, even though they hadn't seen each other in a long time. He went outside and had a little shiver when the cold air passed on him; or maybe it was because Hinata was there, and turned his head around to see him the moment he entered. 

“Oh, you're here!” The tangerine-boy smiled to him ― but yes, it was less bright than usually, the raven-haired boy could tell. 

“Hi. Why are you already outside?” It was supposed to be a worrying question, but it came out on a kind of aggressive tone. Luckily, Hinata just giggled a bit. 

“I wanted to wait for you in a quiet place, so we would be able to talk.” 

Tobio had question marks in the eyes, wondering what meant Hinata. He was confused, because, since their kiss, the orange-haired boy had always acted like nothing had happened, but now, he seemed like he wanted to tackle this issue... or maybe it was something else? But what could it be? 

“Do you have something to tell me?” He asked after a long silence. 

“Yeah, but first, are you okay?” 

“Why?” 

“You've seen your soulmate's ex no? And today is the day when...” Oh. Yes, they were on Christmas Eve, so it meant it was the day of Iwaizumi's death. But honestly, he hadn't thought much about it. 

“I'm fine.” Tobio wanted to add something, but Hinata cut him:

“Great. I'm relieved if you are.”

“And you?” 

“Me?” 

“Are you okay? You look strange.” Hinata giggled again. 

“Really? Well, I’m a bit stressed, but I'm fine.” 

“Stressed?”

Tobio wasn't sure to understand what was stressing the boy. Had something happened? He was getting slightly worried, but the other smiled at him, just like he had guessed what was going on in his mind and wanted to reassure him. 

“It's just that...” Hinata made a few steps around Tobio, before sighing a bit. “Can you look a little more kind?” Tobio raised his eyebrows. What? 

“Are you implying that I look mean?”

“A bit.” The former setter sulked a little, not knowing where this was leading him. Hinata sighed again while seeing him acting confused and annoyed, and decided to add: “It's just because you're not making it easy!”

“Making what easy?” 

“Me confessing to you!” 

Their eyes widened at the same time when Hinata let these words escape his lips. It was probably not volunteer of him to say it in that way; but he had admitted that he was in love with Kageyama, and the boy didn't know how to react. His mind had go empty due to this sudden declaration: he himself had planned to confess to Hinata at this party, but the boy had taken him aback.

“Uh...” Hinata suddenly turned his head to avoid Tobio's look. “It was supposed to sound better.”

“You...” Tobio finally spoke. “You like me?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“Unfortunately?!” 

“Well, sorry to remind you, but you're nasty and you always look like you will kill the first person who'll talk to you!”

“Is this a confession or a complaint?” 

“Both!” 

They looked at each other for a second, before Hinata burst up laughing. It was unexpected, but Tobio found himself smiling at little while hearing this laugh. The atmosphere had changed in a few seconds. 

“I don't know if I should take this reaction for a reject and run away now.” Hinata finally spoke. “I mean, it will be difficult for me to run away, as you're standing just in front of the door, but if I need to, I'll...”

“You won't need to. I like you.” The last words were said on a lower tone, but Hinata heard them, and, oh god, he literally illuminated himself.

“Really?” 

“Yeah, _unfortunately._ ”

“Mean.”

“You asked for it.” 

“I should have kept this for myself.” Tobio smiled once again.

“So, is it why you were stressed?” Hinata sulked at his clearly amused tone.

“Yeah, well, it's not something I say every day. Plus, I thought you were going to reject me!” 

“Why?” It was a genuine question. Well, he knew he could look a bit unpleasant, but still...

“Because... I wasn't sure you would be over your soulmate's death...” 

Hinata admitted, still avoiding his look. Honestly, it was true that Tobio might have rejected the boy if he had confessed earlier, but, since their kiss, he thought it would be pretty obvious... no? 

“I kissed you.” Hinata gasped loudly.

“Yeah, and then you acted like nothing happened!”

“You're the one who acted like nothing happened!” 

“No, it was you! You ran away and avoided me!”

“But you didn't ask me anything about it!” 

“Yeah because I thought you regretted!” They were really unable to communicate, thought the former setter. It was almost a miracle if they had succeeded to confess to each other.

“And, what made you change your mind?”

“Uh...” Hinata had a hesitation. “I talked with Atsumu. This morning.” Tobio raised an eyebrow. “He called me all of a sudden, I was surprised... He said he wanted to wish me a happy new year in advance. And we... talked about this and that. He told me he was doing good. I told him the same.”

“And so? You talked about me?” 

“No. But when we ended the call, I realized that I wasn't in love with him any more, because I had thought about you during the whole call.” Hinata blushed slightly while admitting these words. 

“Oh.”

That was all what Kageyama was able to say. He blushed a bit too, while getting closer to the orange-haired boy. He felt a bit light-heartedly, more than he had ever feel since Iwaizumi's death. Around them, songs and lights were reminding the peaceful Christmas atmosphere, and gave to the scenery a beautiful look. Tobio was looking at Hinata ; and Hinata was looking at Tobio. They were both stuck in each other's eyes, drowning in it with pleasure. 

When they get only a few inches apart, they stayed stuck for a second, not knowing what to do. Then, Hinata slowly got on his feet, and pressed his lips against Tobio's. It was a softer kiss than the one they had exchanged before, on the court, but as charged with love as this first one was. 

And this time, Tobio didn't think about Iwaizumi. 

He didn't think that he was betraying him. 

He didn't run away after the kiss. 

He was just so, so happy. 

And for the first time in a while, he felt at this place. 

(...)

“Hinata?” 

“What?” 

“Can I call you Shôyô now?” Chuckles.

“Yes you can, dumbass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some notes/ideas about the other chatacters:  
> \- Kageyama and Hinata lived a happy life together, no matter what the others thought about the fact they weren't soulmates ;  
> \- Oikawa never got in another relationship again. He never met his soulmate, but never looked for them anyway. Nevertheless, he lived a perfectly happy life, playing volleyball and staying with his family and friends ;  
> \- Atsumu and Hinata managed to become friends despite everything. They stayed acquaintances, but started talking again on the phone (cue Tobio who disliked that the first times) ;  
> \- Tobio started to play volleyball again. He joined his college club, and quickly gained again his past reputation. However, he wasn't a simple aggressive King anymore, but a more serene one.
> 
> _don't forget to come and talk to me on instagram!! my @ is on my profile._

**Author's Note:**

> hoping I didn't kill you with my faults!
> 
> you can talk to me on wattpad or instagram!! my acc are mostly in french but my dms are always opened and I really wish to talk!!  
> (my @ are in my bio)


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